the story i am about to tell happened last week, but it has stuck in my mind. i thought about blogging about it many times, but it just didn't happen.
last week i took lucy to a park on main road in salt river. there were 3 other people there lounging around, so i just sat under the shade of a tree (one of those tied to the ground with ropes...so the cape town wind doesn't scoop it up and drop it in new zealand). lucy ran around, pooped, tried to escape through a small hole in the fence, annoyed the people lying in the grass...her usual routine. as i sat there, i decided to turn my back to main road in order to get my mind off of the busyness of the world around me and just try to relax for a moment.
bad idea!!! moments after i turned around, i hear a huge CRASHBAMBOOMTHUDSMASH sound...for those of you who don't know that word, it's the forensic term for "traffic accident". now, i LOVE excitement. and once i turned around and saw that no one was injured, i was kicking myself for missing out on the event. but no worries, the drama only unfolded after the crash. and this is where my mind has been stuck.
so, best i can tell, what happened was that a golden arrow bus (a huge public transportation bus that runs through the city--for those not in SA) smashed into the back of a taxi (like a mini-van, again for those of you not in SA). remnants of the taxi window lay on the ground. people were pouring out of the taxi, and the two girls who sat in the back screamed and held each other tightly in fear.
and this taxi driver was MAD. he came flying out of the taxi, screaming, shoving his way through the already forming crowd, trying to get to the front of the bus...which had kept moving forward after knocking the taxi and was pulled over on the side of the road a few feet in front of the taxi.
this man was soo angry. i have never seen someone so mad. his skin is brown but his face was flaming pink through his natural skin color. his fists were clenched. he could not stop swearing and screaming at this bus driver, who had nervously descended from the bus and was now backed up against the side of the bus in fear. he was frantically dialing numbers on his phone but having no luck reaching anyone. meanwhile this taxi dude is just letting loose on this guy. he couldnt calm down. not lying, for 20 minutes it didn't stop. i sat there getting more and more upset by the whole thing. it was disturbing.
just when it all quieted a bit, some random dude shows up on the scene...i don't know if he was in the bus or taxi, or if he just decided to get involved. but he starts swearing and screaming at the bus driver, which only gets the taxi dude worked up again. next thing i know i hear the smashing of a glass bottle against the pavement and the two angry dudes are now chasing the bus driver down main road in 5:00 traffic, thrusting the pointed glass bottle at him like a knife. the poor guy literally ran through the cars trying to get away from the two madmen.
only after that did the police show up (at least 30 minutes later...and they are like a 5 minute walk down the street). the bus driver is gone. the crazy glass bottle man is gone. the taxi and bus riders are gone. all that is left is an empty bus, a smashed up taxi, and a still-raving taxi driver who hadn't eaten all day i'm assuming (he is muslim and ramadan had started the day before). his anger at the situation made total sense...i mean, this taxi is his livelihood. he spends all day driving people up and down the city as his way of supporting himself and/or his family. having a smashed up taxi is going to put him out of work for a while, until he can afford to get the window fixed, cause it's highly unlikely "insurance" will pay for it.
BUT, the way he allowed his anger to take control scared me. far too many times in my life, i can look back and see how powerfully anger has controlled my behavior, and how it didn't feel like a decision at the time...it felt like i HAD to be angry...that anger was the only option at that moment. and that it wasn't even anger...it was justified emotion that i was now forced to operate out of. whoa, you might be saying. that is hectic ashley. didn't you learn better? well, maybe i did and i have forgotten. but this blog is not meant to be about my faults, or this man's faults, or the faults of anyone who looses it when they are mad.
what i am saying is that anger is destructive. devastating. wild and carnal. it makes animals out of men. it's scary. and responsible for so much damage in this world.
this image has served as a strong visual for me when i start to feel any little drop of anger rise up. cause i don't want to act like that man did. i don't want to feel what i saw him feeling. i don't want to cause fear in anyone like he did to that bus driver. i don't want anyone else's bits of anger to rage up at the moment they see mine...i just don't want it.
so, anger is scary. that's all i'm saying.
