11 days clean.

“AND SO, THAT’S WHY I HAVE GIVEN UP CAFFEINE.”
NEIL LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A BIT CRAZY. KNOWING HOW MUCH COFFEE I DRINK IN ONE DAY, PERHAPS HE WAS AFRAID OF THE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS HE MIGHT ENCOUNTER FROM MY COFFEE FAST!
“SO, YOU NOT GONNA GET COFFEE TODAY?” NEIL ASKED.
I LOOKED AT HIM A BIT ANNOYED THAT HE WASN’T GETTING MY POINT. “NEIL, I’M NOT GONNA GET COFFEE FOR A LONG TIME. AND I DIDN’T GET COFFEE FOR LIKE A WEEK ALREADY. REMEMBER WHEN I STAYED HOME FOR 2 DAYS? THAT WAS BECAUSE MY BODY WAS GETTING OUT ALL THE COFFEE AND I WAS GETTING HEADACHES AND I WAS SWEATING. IT WAS LIKE I WAS COMING OFF A DRUG.”
NEIL WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND MY NECK AND BURIED HIS HEAD IN MY SHOULDER. HE DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK AT ME. AS I PRYED HIM OFF MY SHOULDER, I SAW HIS FACE WAS COVERED WITH A SMILE. HE LOOKED AT MELISSA, WHO NODDED HER HEAD.
”IT’S TRUE NEILTJIE”, MELISSA SAID WITH CONFIDENCE.

SATURDAY, JULY 1ST MELISSA AND I WERE DRIVING HOME AROUND 11:30 PM, WE PASSED A GROUP OF TOUGH-LOOKING BOYS ENTERING MUIZENBERG ON FOOT. AS WE GOT CLOSER, WE RECOGNIZED EACH FACE AND HONKED AS WE PASSED. IT WAS SOME OF THE KIDS WE KNOW FROM THE STREETS OF MUIZENBERG.
MELISSA AND I LOOKED AT ONE ANOTHER IN SILENCE. WE KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT. THEY HAD BEEN TO CAPRICORN, ALL OF THEM. AND THEY HAD ALL SMOKED CRYSTAL METH. YOU DON’T WALK FROM CAPRICORN AT MIDNIGHT WITH SUCH PEP IN YOUR STEP UNLESS YOU’VE BEEN SMOKING SOMETHING.

THE NEXT DAY WE WENT TO FETCH THE BOYS FOR CHURCH. THE MIDNIGHT GROUP WAS STILL GOING STRONG, WIDE AWAKE AND PARANOID. NONE OF THEM CAME TO CHURCH.

A BIT LATER I WENT TO CAPRICORN TO TAKE HOME ONE OF THE BOYS. WE SPOTTED NEIL, RICKY, AND BRIAN WALKING THROUGH THE STREET IN THE DIRECTION OF MUIZENBERG. WE WERE ABLE TO CATCH THEM ON THE MAIN ROAD, WHERE OUR 4-HOUR CONVERSATION BEGAN. THEY HAD ALL USED TIK THE NIGHT BEFORE. AND WERE QUICK TO ADMIT IT. THEY KNEW, ONCE AGAIN, THAT THEY WERE WRONG, THAT THEY HAD BROKEN A PROMISE. AND I THINK, FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEY WERE TIRED OF IT.

I STARTED CRYING, AS I ALWAYS DO. “OH, ASHLEY. PLEASE DON’T CRY.” NEIL SAID AS HE PULLED HIS SHIRT SLEEVE OVER HIS CURLED FINGERS AND WIPED MY TEARS AWAY WITH HIS WRIST. “DON’T CRY. IT’S OVER NOW.”

AND THAT’S WHEN I DECIDED TO GIVE UP COFFEE. IF I AT ALL EXPECT THESE BOYS TO GIVE UP A HARD DRUG LIKE CRYSTAL METH, THEN WHAT AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP AS WELL? I FOUND MYSELF ASKING THAT QUESTION. WITHOUT DOUBT, I AM A COFFEE ADDICT. I DRINK A LOT OF IT A LOT OF THE DAY. I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT I WAS BEING ASKED TO GIVE UP CAFFEEINE. EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME REBELLED AT THE THOUGHT. “ALRIGHT, I MUST BE ONTO SOMETHING THEN,” I THOUGHT IN RESPONSE TO MY DECISION.

NEIL AND I HAVE BOTH BEEN CLEAN 11 DAYS TODAY. I DON’T DRINK COFFEE. NEIL DOESN’T SMOKE TIK. I HAVE THIS STRANGE CONFIDENCE THIS TIME AROUND. I AM FULLY AWARE THAT NEIL WILL USE TIK AGAIN ONE DAY, FOR THIS IS NOT THE END OF OUR ROAD. BUT, IF 11 DAYS OF TIK-FREE NEIL CAN WALK THIS WORLD AND SEE IT WITH CLEAR EYES, THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT THOUGHTS COME INTO HIS HEAD THAT THE DRUGS MIGHT HAVE INHIBITED. THOUGHTS OF GOD OR HOPE OR LOVE OR FAMILY OR SCHOOL OR JOY RESTORED.
AND WITH WHAT RENEWED PASSION HE CAN LIVE ON THIS EARTH. IN THE 11 DAYS HE’S STAYED OFF TIK, HE’S RECONNECTED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND AND BEGAN SPENDING MORE TIME WITH HIM, HE’S EARNED MONEY BY PAINTING A HOUSE RATHER THAN BREAKING INTO IT, HE’S USED THAT MONEY FOR CHICKEN AND CHIPS RATHER THAN TIK, HE’S LAUGHED AND SMILED A LOT, AND HE EVEN WENT ONE WHOLE DAY WITHOUT USING GANGA—AND THAT’S A CHAMPION FEAT FOR A RASTA!

11 DAYS. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
PLEASE PRAY FOR NEIL AND THE FUTURE GOD HAS WAITING FOR HIM.