sports day 2006.

this is a picture of carl, the kid i talked about in my newsletter. behind him is a kid we call popsie (i am sure i spelled that wrong but i don't know how to spell it right). these two boys stand at the street light by capricorn each afternoon after school and collect money from cars. they know almost everyone that goes by, and most of the time you just see them waving here and there to all their familiar people!
they are both in my grade 4 class at christian-david, the afrikaans-speaking school across from capricorn that i LOVE to pieces. it's kinda like i still get to hang out with the kids from muizenberg/capricorn b/c most of the children at CD are kids i met in capricorn when visiting "my boys" (not really mine, but you know what i mean).
anways, today was sports day for some of the schools living hope works in, and we got to take 25 boys from our grade 4 class at CD. it was so fun hanging out with them. i love these kids, and as you know i have this specific love of hanging out with trouble boys! these two sweet faces qualify as TROUBLE!


here is our full class just before they competed in the soccer tournament.


here i am with some of the kids. aren't our yellow shirts attractive! i'm uncomfortably sick in this photo but tried being awake and coherent most of the day.


one observation: our CD kids were the most violent, the most rowdy, the most vulgar, BUT also the most sweet, polite, thankful, entertaining, and talented group there. interesting huh? they had a blast!!!

lessons from the sickbed.

learned especially on a day like today. if you could see this african day, if you could feel the perfect temperature settling all around you, if you could smell the flowers starting to bloom as summer approaches, if you could hear the waves crashing in perfect harmony upon the shore, then you'd hate it for me that i'm sick today.
i was up most of the night because i couldn't breathe out of my nose. then i had stomach cramps. so i decided to stay awake and managed to lie on my bed for a good hour, from about 3-4 a.m., holding a glass of mango juice in my hand without spilling it. by about 7:50 am, when it was time to be up for work, i fell asleep. i tried going to work and didn't do so well so i came home and watched mona lisa smile for the 3rd time this week. i really like that movie because it reminds me of life in america, and i want to be like julia roberts in that movie.
now i'm at a coffee shop trying to think of something interesting to say. i have nothing.

i've been emotionally and spiritually depleted lately. i've had a few illnesses back to back and visited some doctors who gave me a plethora of diagnoses, none of which i like or agree with. but i am feeling better, sort of.
i think the past 7 months are catching up with me. they've been totally intense and amazing and life-changing and difficult. i now know what it means to truly see the pain and ache of this world and be able to do nothing to "change" it. i have a new definition of hope and faith and perseverance. i believe god is a mighty healer of those who are afflicted. i believe christ is the only source of rehabilitation for addicts, abuse victims, abandoned children, and lonely souls.

the past few years, my spiritual journey has been very "academic". i've read tons of books since i believe i really understood what it should mean to be a christian--back about 4 years ago on an airplane to san diego when i realized that christ was all i had and all i ever really needed. i joined bible studies, i met with wise counsel here and there, i tried to be intellectually stimulated by and stimulating for the company i kept. my brain resided on this strange plane of thought that couldn't shut down, couldn't stop asking questions, couldn't stop thinking most of the time. i wrote in journals like a mad woman. i enjoyed wholesome music and tried to be cool enough to talk about different bands and songs. i spent most of my time with christians because that was what i needed to do to stay sober and sane and on track.

well, africa changed all that through my exposure to roughly 15 children from the community of capricorn who had made the suburb of muizenberg their temporary home. i stopped reading. my journal was my best friend for a while, then started collecting dust. my ipod stayed off for months. my brain was too overwhelmed, too tired, to shocked to try and really compartmentalize or make sense of the things i was seeing and hearing. i became incredibly critical of worldly things, even my coffee addiction got tackled. you likely heard little from me.

this was like the field trip for all the things i'd studied and read and heard about God over the last 4 years. it was like i got sent out into the bush and had to learn how to kill wild game and start fires and differentiate between poisonous and safe plants and insects. ok, that's a little dramatic, but so am i, so it's cool. basically, my world got flipped on it's hindside and i loved every minute of it.

but, god is calling me to a new place, and i'm actually really intimidated by it. i've been avoiding it for a few months now, but i think these crazy illnesses are part of god's way of opening my eyes to my weakness, my vincibility (if that's a word). in one word, this next season would be called "prayer". yes, it's something i do, sometimes i enjoy it, most of the time i feel guilty if i don't do it "like i should" or "enough". i remember i used to fall asleep praying and thought that was a bad thing. now i see it as a beautiful way to go out for the day, talking to my father and my God.
but this new season is going to be more intense than the book study, more heart-wrenching than the field trip. it's actually going to require more commitment, more perseverance and more faith than i've ever known before.

i look at it this way. god has blessed me beyond measure with life experiences, with journeys from indonesia to burma to moldova to south africa. god has always provided for my every need in this international life i've accepted as my "calling". i've met with buddhist monks and been accepted as their sister and daughter and friend. i've chased orphans around moldova and been miraculously present for the birth of their own children at the tender age of 16. i've walked tsunami-ravaged beaches where body parts and house parts were strewn across the shoreline. i've seen children hit with candlesticks by their drunk mothers. i've felt godly anger as i stared into the eyes of a 17 year old boy who's been raped by a dirty old paedophile. i've fallen in love with the people of the world--from kheminda and uttamasara to galina and tatiana to neiltjie and poem.

this is what i call RESPONSIBILITY. because the most important thing, the biggest change any of these people need is the model of jesus christ living in their hearts, giving purpose to their terribly difficult and trying existence, breathing hope and love into their lonely and drug-addcited hearts.

and i've failed miserably at doing my job of praying for these people.

but being sick has shown me that prayer = time, and i don't set time aside for prayer. i'm an action-oriented gal, but prayer is the most active thing i could do. calling on the name of the most high god and petitioning for his attention on behalf of a wounded generation of boys and girls--that's action more than sitting with them while they come off of crystal meth or sob over their abusive stepfather...although these are important actions as well.

so, can you pray for me, that i'd be a pray-er in the real sense of the word. that my prayer life would become primary in my life? if i don't start acting on this call, i might be sick for a long time!!!

zebron.

so, i have a new job here in south africa. on monday, tuesday and thursdays i go to various schools around the muizenberg area and assist a lady named sherna who teaches life skills for living hope. our school load is quite diverse. mondays we go to christian davids, the school across from capricorn, an afrikaans speaking school where kids have holes in their pants, some have no shoes, and trouble-makers like my little friend carl who smokes ganga in the bathroom. he's 10.
tuesday we are in nice, white, rich noordhoek private teaching classes of no more than eight (our grade 4 has 5 students), each with their own pencial sharperner and colored pencil set. kids with names like ANGUS, JEAN ERIC, STORM, and OLIVER STAPLETON-COTTON.
thursday we are in 4 classes at muizenberg primary. this is a variety school of white, black, colored, and seems to be a breeding ground for some real rebels. one kid, dylan, has caught my attention.
it is at muizenberg primary where a boy named zebron is in one of our grade 4 classes. and it is here where you will see just how cool god is in putting me with a co-worker whose heart beats like my own.

monday after we left christian davids and the mob-scene on the playground that occurs everytime i leave (because all the kids are from capricorn and i do spend lots of my free time in that community...ok, almost all my free time but that's beside the point), we were driving to st. james. we passed zebron on the road, and sherna automatically pulled over.

what followed was the kind of drama i live for--problem solving and intervention for those in need, and racing up and down main road--but i'll get to that later.

zebron had packed a tote bag full of pots and kitchen utensils for his experiment that day at school. somewhere between home, the train, and school, zebron lost the tote bag. when we stopped to see why he was walking in the opposite direction of his school, with tears in his eyes he told us that if he didn't find the bag, his mom was going to beat him.

sherna put him on the home-bound train and called his mom to explain the situation. we proceeded to go to our next school. well, st. james was out for a holiday so we returned quickly to the train station to see if zebron was still there so we could take him home and talk with his mom. he wasn't there. the conductor told us he took the wrong train and was heading to the southern tip of the peninsula rather than up into the flats he lives in.

this is where the frantic driving begins. sherna was so worried about this kid. we made a plan and i jumped out of the moving car at the next station, got the train stopped, only to find zebron wasn't there. no one had seen the boy.

we are severly worried at this point. sherna drives back to kalk bay, thinking maybe he was somewhere at that station. she found him curled into a ball sitting on the floor of the station, sobbing into his hands.

we proceeded to take him home, and all this time i am thinking about how much i love sherna and god for putting us in the same space and time here in africa so i could still live a little while doing this school work!

jho! we get to zebron's home and found that the bag was there. no beating necessary. we thanked god for the found pots and pans and realized we have much more to offer than life skills...we have a responsiblity to zebron brought to the surface by a missing tote bag.

oh africa!

The Addiction Problem: Need Mercenaries Not Missionaries

Written by Bethesda’s Director and Pastoral Addictions Counsellor: Colin Garnett.
Events are true, names and places are changed.

A Mom and Dad turned up at Bethesda this week with a 24-year old drug addicted daughter.
Mom and Dad had tears in their eyes, the daughter had attitude in hers. She did not speak to them, she spoke at them. Dad, a decent hard working guy, had so far been unable to say no to his little girl, she was (still) the apple of his eye. Her tone toward him was aggressive and bullying. Mom sat frozen in her emotions, afraid of her child. At the end of his tether, Dad hopelessly shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in despair. “This is it, I have had enough”.
The daughter coldly hit back: “I can control my drinking and I am not going to stop smoking weed”.

Both parents had watery eyes.
I asked if I could make a few suggestions.
All three of them sat silent.

To the parents I said: “Get yourselves into a parent support group and prepare yourselves for the worst. This girl is going to get passed around the drug culture like a blow up doll and will eventually end up face down in a ditch somewhere. It may take a few years, but the addiction is going to kill her. The more money you allow her to manipulate out of you the quicker that death will be. Stop now. Cut her off completely, as of now. Change your cell phone numbers. Change the locks on your doors at home. Get a court order around her that if she approaches your door or the door of your parents, she gets arrested and sectioned for 12-months. Expect her to be selling herself.

The daughter started to rage. “You have only known me for five minutes how can you ...”
I cut her off. “Five minutes? I have been working with arrogance like yours for over a decade. Look at your self, be really honest for once. You milk these guys for money with lies day after day, and if ever they should dare say ‘no’ to you, you honestly feel hard done to because of a twisted sense of entitlement that you carry within you”.

She started to cry.

“As soon as you are challenged you turn the tears on to order and expect sympathy from the people you bully. You mix with society’s low-life because you have no confidence other than the false confidence that you get from the chemical and you get your identity from people who have no identity of their own. You look for acceptance through behaving unacceptably and will go to any length to fit in with a sub-culture of miss-fits! You do not have one friend in the world, and yet you tell the world to go away”.

The crying turned to sobs.

She looked up and said; “let me think about it”.
I asked “think about what”?
“About coming to Bethesda”.
“Forget it” I said. “Get back on the street and suffer for a few more years, and then when you can use the word please, I might consider allowing you in”.
She attempted the victim approach; “But you have insulted me and hurt my feelings”.
“I have only spoken the truth to you, I cannot insult you with by pointing out the truth about you, if it hurts, it is because you do not like the truth about what you have become”.

I then invited her to leave the premises.

In closing I said to her: “When you smoke your next weed tonight or take your next drink, try not to think of me and of what you are walking away from right now. Now go”.

They left.
I went home feeling sorry for the parents but confident that I had totally sabotaged her drug using. I knew she would ring.

First thing the next morning she rang.

“Hi, how are you”?

“I got drunk last night and smoked weed, but I could not stop thinking about everything you said to me. I have been awake all night, thinking it all over and over”.
“And .........?” I enquired.
“And I want what you have. Can I come and stay at Bethesda please”?
“Of course you can, see you later”.

This young lady is now settling in at Bethesda and she has already seen; ‘there is something different here”.

Sometimes it takes the mercenary approach of inflicting as much damage as possible as quickly as possible to save lives. Get in behind enemy lines and fight your way out with hostages. This young lady was prisoner of her addiction.

This morning when she woke up sober, her face had even changed.

I think we might see a future addictions counsellor with this one.

my african family.

these are my african parents, john and trish roberts. i know, i favor my mom! we get lots of jokes about that one!!!
i think these are two of the most amazing people i know. god uses john to change more lives than I have ever seen one man do. it's an honor working with him.

just recently he and his wife have been more exposed to the muizenberg boys. it started when ryan was on special assignment, a local news tv show/documentary thing. the episode was about sexual abuse of street kids in cape town. ryan was on there talking about his work with the kids in town and all he's seen them go through as it relates to sexual predators.
trish's heart broke. she came up to me the next day at work and said "ok, i get it. i see your heart for these kids. i want to support you finding a safe way to work with them. but you must not stop because you have been given that same heart that ryan has."
i felt understood for the first time in months!!! since that time, God has so awesomely combined the lives of my african parents with the lives of these boys. They hung out at my birthday party and had a great time. We went to visit Brian in the correctional facility he's been put in, and Trish fell in love with little Brianie. John talked to him about his future. John was also a street kid, and these boys really love "uncle john" as he's now known as!
I took them into Capricorn yesterday afternoon after work and they visited with Mingo and Ricky. It was so cool!!!

I just want you all to really pray for these two great people, and for the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center. We are in greater demand than ever before and it's so exciting to see what God is going to do with this little center! I'm so glad to have hearts unified with John and Trish. God is so good!!! He has blessed me so abundantly through their friendship. And they love what Ryan is doing, so it's cool to see God unite those worlds as well.

And now, some photos from a few weeks ago--
Neiltjie and I eating Blow Pops.


Mingo outside the barber shop.

here are just a whole lotta photos...

keaton playing soccer.


john roberts and gangsta melissa!


erica, my new sister in christ!!!


damien and ryan.


keaton and i (and john in the background!)


spune, poem's baby sister!


poem and jenny


me and smart, who is a "foreigner" as his mom said!


perdjie back at home.


happy 30 to me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHLEY!

Hi everyone! This is SD, an old friend of Ashley's. It is officially her birthday in S. Africa. We have until midnight in the states. But August 22 is the day God decided to grace the world with her presence, and what a glorious day it is. I know we are all thankful to him that she is here and sharing herself with us and the world.

Ashley, I just thought this would be a fun way to say a big happy day to you. I will be thinking about you and praying for you all day as you turn, well one year older. :) We are now the same age again. I miss you and can't wait to see you... hopefully that will be soon. I will probably be an old married woman by then. haha Take care, love. And, again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

"Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teen, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again."

the franciscan benediction:

"may god bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. may god bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. may god bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy. and may god bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. amen"

fooled the quizzers.

the ONLY reason i even took this silly quiz is because my thai/nepali/boulder,co/soontobecapetonian friend emma suggested it on her blog. i've never read little women, tried to watch the movie once but pretty sure i fell asleep when they lit a fire or something in their cozy colonial home. but now, here i am, being told again that I am this character i've never even met. amanda 1 and 2, and marlee called it as we strolled across the national mall in dc.

i need a life.

Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

You're Beth March of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott!
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brianie's rap song.

he is running a 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction.

last weekend, melissa and i got free tickets to casting crowns. we helped sell merchandise and got to see the concert for free. it was so glorious because i realized how long it had been since i worshipped with lots of people like i used to. i dont' so much need that but it was more because it was so familiar that i enjoyed it. i must admit, it was clouded by emotion. outside the walls of that big church loomed winter rains and cold weather, as well as the absence of some of the most important people in my life today.
needless to say, the drugs sucked the boys back in. a week straight went by without any word from some of them. i thought i might have a nervous breakdown. my gosh, how did my parents cope for 5 years of this with me? i cannot imagine the pain, cause these kids aren't even my flesh and blood.

times are a changing. melissa and katarina leave in 4 weeks. can you believe that?

i am excited about my future in south africa. my mind rotates around the following topics:

prayer, street children, drugs, broken families, decaf coffee (praise the lord for it!), capricorn (how can i live in this community?), afrikaans, a new flat, exercise, drink more water, burma.

i'm consumed by these things and trying to put them ALL under the first one : prayer. God is speaking LOUDLY to me, but it's loud here and sometimes i just hear a bunch of nonsense. So, it takes me finding the quiet so God's voice can be understood.

So, pray for these rotating topics if you don't mind. And enjoy the new photos!

11 days clean.

“AND SO, THAT’S WHY I HAVE GIVEN UP CAFFEINE.”
NEIL LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A BIT CRAZY. KNOWING HOW MUCH COFFEE I DRINK IN ONE DAY, PERHAPS HE WAS AFRAID OF THE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS HE MIGHT ENCOUNTER FROM MY COFFEE FAST!
“SO, YOU NOT GONNA GET COFFEE TODAY?” NEIL ASKED.
I LOOKED AT HIM A BIT ANNOYED THAT HE WASN’T GETTING MY POINT. “NEIL, I’M NOT GONNA GET COFFEE FOR A LONG TIME. AND I DIDN’T GET COFFEE FOR LIKE A WEEK ALREADY. REMEMBER WHEN I STAYED HOME FOR 2 DAYS? THAT WAS BECAUSE MY BODY WAS GETTING OUT ALL THE COFFEE AND I WAS GETTING HEADACHES AND I WAS SWEATING. IT WAS LIKE I WAS COMING OFF A DRUG.”
NEIL WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND MY NECK AND BURIED HIS HEAD IN MY SHOULDER. HE DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK AT ME. AS I PRYED HIM OFF MY SHOULDER, I SAW HIS FACE WAS COVERED WITH A SMILE. HE LOOKED AT MELISSA, WHO NODDED HER HEAD.
”IT’S TRUE NEILTJIE”, MELISSA SAID WITH CONFIDENCE.

SATURDAY, JULY 1ST MELISSA AND I WERE DRIVING HOME AROUND 11:30 PM, WE PASSED A GROUP OF TOUGH-LOOKING BOYS ENTERING MUIZENBERG ON FOOT. AS WE GOT CLOSER, WE RECOGNIZED EACH FACE AND HONKED AS WE PASSED. IT WAS SOME OF THE KIDS WE KNOW FROM THE STREETS OF MUIZENBERG.
MELISSA AND I LOOKED AT ONE ANOTHER IN SILENCE. WE KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT. THEY HAD BEEN TO CAPRICORN, ALL OF THEM. AND THEY HAD ALL SMOKED CRYSTAL METH. YOU DON’T WALK FROM CAPRICORN AT MIDNIGHT WITH SUCH PEP IN YOUR STEP UNLESS YOU’VE BEEN SMOKING SOMETHING.

THE NEXT DAY WE WENT TO FETCH THE BOYS FOR CHURCH. THE MIDNIGHT GROUP WAS STILL GOING STRONG, WIDE AWAKE AND PARANOID. NONE OF THEM CAME TO CHURCH.

A BIT LATER I WENT TO CAPRICORN TO TAKE HOME ONE OF THE BOYS. WE SPOTTED NEIL, RICKY, AND BRIAN WALKING THROUGH THE STREET IN THE DIRECTION OF MUIZENBERG. WE WERE ABLE TO CATCH THEM ON THE MAIN ROAD, WHERE OUR 4-HOUR CONVERSATION BEGAN. THEY HAD ALL USED TIK THE NIGHT BEFORE. AND WERE QUICK TO ADMIT IT. THEY KNEW, ONCE AGAIN, THAT THEY WERE WRONG, THAT THEY HAD BROKEN A PROMISE. AND I THINK, FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEY WERE TIRED OF IT.

I STARTED CRYING, AS I ALWAYS DO. “OH, ASHLEY. PLEASE DON’T CRY.” NEIL SAID AS HE PULLED HIS SHIRT SLEEVE OVER HIS CURLED FINGERS AND WIPED MY TEARS AWAY WITH HIS WRIST. “DON’T CRY. IT’S OVER NOW.”

AND THAT’S WHEN I DECIDED TO GIVE UP COFFEE. IF I AT ALL EXPECT THESE BOYS TO GIVE UP A HARD DRUG LIKE CRYSTAL METH, THEN WHAT AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP AS WELL? I FOUND MYSELF ASKING THAT QUESTION. WITHOUT DOUBT, I AM A COFFEE ADDICT. I DRINK A LOT OF IT A LOT OF THE DAY. I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT I WAS BEING ASKED TO GIVE UP CAFFEEINE. EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME REBELLED AT THE THOUGHT. “ALRIGHT, I MUST BE ONTO SOMETHING THEN,” I THOUGHT IN RESPONSE TO MY DECISION.

NEIL AND I HAVE BOTH BEEN CLEAN 11 DAYS TODAY. I DON’T DRINK COFFEE. NEIL DOESN’T SMOKE TIK. I HAVE THIS STRANGE CONFIDENCE THIS TIME AROUND. I AM FULLY AWARE THAT NEIL WILL USE TIK AGAIN ONE DAY, FOR THIS IS NOT THE END OF OUR ROAD. BUT, IF 11 DAYS OF TIK-FREE NEIL CAN WALK THIS WORLD AND SEE IT WITH CLEAR EYES, THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT THOUGHTS COME INTO HIS HEAD THAT THE DRUGS MIGHT HAVE INHIBITED. THOUGHTS OF GOD OR HOPE OR LOVE OR FAMILY OR SCHOOL OR JOY RESTORED.
AND WITH WHAT RENEWED PASSION HE CAN LIVE ON THIS EARTH. IN THE 11 DAYS HE’S STAYED OFF TIK, HE’S RECONNECTED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND AND BEGAN SPENDING MORE TIME WITH HIM, HE’S EARNED MONEY BY PAINTING A HOUSE RATHER THAN BREAKING INTO IT, HE’S USED THAT MONEY FOR CHICKEN AND CHIPS RATHER THAN TIK, HE’S LAUGHED AND SMILED A LOT, AND HE EVEN WENT ONE WHOLE DAY WITHOUT USING GANGA—AND THAT’S A CHAMPION FEAT FOR A RASTA!

11 DAYS. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
PLEASE PRAY FOR NEIL AND THE FUTURE GOD HAS WAITING FOR HIM.

GREETINGS FROM CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA

Wow, it has been a long time. I don’t even know where to start! First of all, I want to thank the Worley family for sending me a new camera to replace my stolen one. It is so invaluable to have a way to document the lives here and my involvement in them. Thank you Dennis, Karla, Seth, Arley, Matt, and Ben for recognizing how important a camera is for my life and work here. Also, thank you to Meredith Macguirk, Amy Jenkins, the Hoppes, Beth Harris, and all of you who contributed to buying and sending me a new computer!!!! God has abundantly blessed me by replacing what was stolen in Cape Town a few months ago. I am excited to be able to communicate with you all again and more importantly, to share the amazing work God is doing in Cape Town!!


While most of the photos are of the chilren I work with, I am quite involved in the ministry of Fish Hoek drug crisis center. The growth of our little ministry is exciting as different communities are inviting us in! Most recently is the invitation from Ocean View, a community that has been quite closed to anyone helping improve the drug problem there. It is estimated that ¾ of the Ocean View high school population is using Crystal Meth, known as “tik” here. Last Friday was Youth Day in South Africa, a day set aside to remember those youth killed in the Sharpeville uprising during the apartheid era. Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center joined with our satellite branch in a colored community known as Lavender Hill (similar to the housing projects of 8th or 12th avenue in Nashville) and marched down the main road singing hymns in Xhosa and Afrikaans, dancing and carrying signs against tik use. Keaton and Ricky (two children living on the streets) joined me and we had a great day. I was asked to speak alongside John Roberts, my “boss” in the Drug Center and my African father! We had a moving experience as we saw the community join together and fight against the drug crisis spreading through the communities known as the “cape flats”—a term used to describe all the squatter communities and housing projects set aside for blacks and coloreds during apartheid. Sadly, the end of apartheid did not mean the end of such communities and 12 years later, many people live like they did during white rule. I love being in these communities and find them to be so welcoming. Sometimes I spend hours in Capricorn (the township my boys are from), visiting families and meeting people. Here are some photos from our day in Lavender Hill…





PARTNERS IN CRIME: I'd like to introduce you to some of the people i work alongside...
melissa.

john roberts.

jenny.

katarina.

ryan.

Melissa is my wonderful roommate and fellow worker with the kids. In the mornings while I am at the Drug center, she is working at the hospice writing policies for Living Hope. Jenny is from England and works with Youth With A Mission as a youth outreach worker in the schools of Cape Town. She also lives in Muizenberg and knows the kids we work with. John Roberts is my “boss” at the drug crisis center. He spent 20 years as a drug addict, living on the streets and in prison. He has been sober 22 years and now does amazing work with recovering addicts in the communities. Katharina is from Germany and works for Beautiful Gate Muizenberg, a branch of YWAM. They are a children’s home for former street kids from Cape Town. She is greatly involved in our boys lives also. Ryan Dalton worked for Beautiful Gate from 1999-2005. He is now finishing his degree in social work at the University of Cape Town and spends most of his free time either on the streets of Cape Town with the street children there, or in Khayelitsha, the township most of the Cape Town kids are from.
STORIES TO SHARE
I was visiting Capricorn (the township my boys are from) the other day and a man from the community asked me the infamous questions: “What are you doing with these kids? What is your aim?” I answered him by saying “To make some positive impact in each child’s life. To leave their life better off than it was before.” This question/answer got me thinking about how that looks so different for each child, and how that is such a fluid responsibility considering the constant needs and issues in their lives. I am more than ever convinced that these children are constantly preyed upon by various people and issues, from pedophiles to gangs to drugs to broken homes. They come from such devastation, and it is exciting to see God carve a way into the stone-like hearts they have developed in order to survive in this life.
Andrew (we call him poem, pronounced “poom”). Andrew is 13 and has been on and off the streets for a year or so. When I met him he was developing an awful case of scabies. He’s a cute kid and is important for the others because his face makes money, meaning he evokes more sympathy in the average passer-by than an older or less attractive child. At first he was adamantly opposed to taking us to his home. Each day we would drive into Capricorn and visit friends or take kids to see their families. As time passed, Poem finally decided we’d go to his house, whereas before he would react violently to such an idea. We met his mother Janet and his 2 little sisters and his niece. We began taking Poem home each afternoon and now he’s been totally staying at home for about 3 weeks. He comes to Muizenberg from time to time but overall he is back at home and we are so happy about this reunion!!! Here are some pictures of Poem and his family...



Neil is turning 16 this week! His older brother died on December 22, 2005. The other older brother is heavily into drugs and gang life and wants Neil to join him. Neil dropped out of school 2 years ago because “there were too many guns there”. His mother is an alcoholic and his father, who he's seen only twice in his life, is in Joburg. His stepfather is a drug addict and regularly beat Neil with anything he could get his hands on. Neil lived with his aunt in Lavender Hill for a while but eventually moved to Muizenberg because it was safer. However, he is now living on the streets and is starting to really experiment with hard drugs, specifically tik. He is a hypersensitive child, extremely malleable, and incredibly gentle. I find that the more I pour into him the love and truth of Christ, the more spiritual warfare he experiences in his daily life. He falls as we all do, but he longs for something more. God has deeply burdened my heart for this boy, and God uses Neil to keep me very focused on what I can do or say to make a positive impact. Here are a few photos of Neiltjie…

trying to talk neil through a bad drug binge (something i find myself doing all too often with these kids).

a few days of sobriety later.

FUN TIME
These are just some random photos of our life from day to day. We like to give the kids some sense of life outside of the streets. Maybe that is a drive to cape town or a meal at mcdonald’s. Maybe that is a movie night with hot chocolate or a hike up the beautiful mountains around us. We try to use our time productively, but also spend a significant amount of time in THEIR world so that we can get the best assessment of the battles they must fight and how we can equip them. It is in these times “on the streets” that we learn the most about a child’s past, and what they love and think and dream, and what characteristics of God they have been given. I love that part of this work!





SPECIFIC PRAYERS REQUESTS AND PRAISES
1. More funding for the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center. We run solely on donations and we want to do so much more than we can because we do not have proper funding.
2. The dynamics of Living Hope. Much is changing in the structure of this organization. Pray that the staff persevere and feel valued.
3. The persecution we face. So much of the Muizneberg community HATES us (literally) for being friends with the kids. I have been accused of awful things and the kids feel anger at the injustice of it all. The community has chosen to outcast these children and me as well. Pray that we can all be an example of Christ when we are attacked, that we could walk away from angry people, and that we could speak truth when it is helpful to do so.
4. Winter. It’s cold here. Pray for warmth as the kids sleep outside and dryness because their blankets were all stolen recently by the security guards that roam the city. Yes, the security guards stole their blankets. This was after they threw stones at them. It’s a sad thing.
5. Melissa goes back to America is 2 months, and Katharina goes to Germany 3 days after Melissa. Pray God would begin preparing them for what lies ahead and preparing the boys for their departure. It won’t be an easy time for any of us.
6. Clarity for my future in South Africa. I believe God has brought me here for a long term commitment and I am praying through what that means, how to start fundraising for another year, and getting a new visa.
7. Bala and Russie are hanging out with an older gangster, Mano, quite regularly. I see a very sad change in both of these children. I don't want them to follow Mano. We pray that Mano either repents or gets removed from the situation. He is a powerful force in their lives.
8. Brontino has been in a form (boarding school/jail) for the past few months. He gets out this month. Please pray for his transition. It's not exciting for us to see him come back out because he has been through a lot in the past year and he returns to a much less safe environment.

Thank you to all of you for making it possible for me to be in South Africa, to work for Living Hope and John Roberts in the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center, and to spend my free time with the street children of South Africa. All of these things richly bless my life and show me so much of God’s love and his desire for us to pour out our lives as living sacrifices. Thank you for praying for me and financially supporting me and I ask you to continue that support however you can.
Much love to you from South Africa!!! Don’t forget the blog at www.reflectioninwater.blogspot.com, or my email at Ashleyinafrica@gmail.com

Further up and Further in,
Ashley.

a much-needed perspective.

Snowflake...I regret all the frustration and hurt you are having to experience for your boys. However, if you persevere, the trying of your faith will prove your most valuable possession. Strong characters are not forged in a lukewarm furnace. Please keep feeding yourself God's Word as your soul must have that Food. Keep talking to your Heavenly Father in prayer as He loves your prayers and you need to talk to Him.

I am glad that you had some friends there to console you and reassure you.

I suppose everyone is playing their role exactly as they should. Addicted people acting like addicted people. People that love perversion and deviation pursuing same. Servants of the Most High God serving their Master. I wonder if Jesus felt some of your emotions. Here he had come to save the world from the worst eternal suffering imaginable (and worse) and the people He came to save eventually decided to kill Him. That sounds like loneliness. I guess this indicates that it is the role of the deliverer to be misunderstood. Ouch!

oh how i love god for giving me such a wise earthly father. the above are his words in response to our phone call a few days ago. things are just like a constant battle here. a battle on behalf of those who cannot battle for themselves--the kind of people that god talks about in the old testament, the kind of people christ died for.

a week ago neil and russie and bala disappeared after some drama went down in muizenberg. i drove to capricorn every single day at least once, but usually more than once--and all i could find was that empty feeling in my stomach getting bigger and bigger. my sole prayers became that god would drive neil to call me and he did, 6 days later.

bottomline--they used drugs. and called me to get them back in muizenberg because in capricorn "they cannot escape the people who make them use."

yesterday i talked with brian, neil's best friend, and i asked if he was worried about neil. he got very quiet and said "of course i am. he's going to die."

"if we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of moses died without mercy on the testimony of 2 or 3 witnesses. how much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the son of god underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the spirit of grace? for we know him who said, "it is mine to avenge; i will repay," and again, "the lord will judge his people." it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living god.

remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. you sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew taht you yourselves had better and lasting possesions.

so do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of god, you will receive what he has promised. for in just a very little while, "he who is coming will come and will nto delay. but my righteous one will live by faith. and if he shrinks back, i will not be pleased with him." but we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
hebrews 10. 26-39

i've got no idea where to start. i should try but i am too tired. too tired of trying. something conforted my last night. i sat in the checkers parking lot with melissa, ryan, and worm...plus the kids minus russie and neiltjie. i was stressing because of so many reasons, and i just looked at my adult friends and said, "that's it, i'm the crazy one. the only way i can continue to live in this world is if i believe i'm the crazy one, and everyone else is sane."
ryan started laughing and said he'd started telling himself that a long time ago. god, at least i'm learning something valuable.

but seriously, i have to believe i'm the abnormal one (i am in this world) and everyone else is "normal". then i can carry on with my life.

these verses in hebrews are what god showed me last night before i saw the kids at checkers. they are going to be my motivation to keep on in this time. please pray for neiltjie, russie, and bala--that god would free them from addiction and gang life. pray for keaton--that the pain in his little heart wouldn't lead him to hate my love for him. pray for randall, whose so paranoid and worked up about some misunderstandings that he could reach a place of genuine forgiveness. and pray for alfred and mano--that they'd either turn from their wickedness or quickly start spending a long part of their life behind bars.

and pray that i could finish mandela's autobiography in the near future!

i'm back!!!!!!

THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO KARLA, DENNIS, AND SETH WORLEY. THANK YOU FOR THE CAMERA.
THIS IS ALSO DEDICATED TO MEREDITH MACGUIRK, AMY JENKINS, BETH HARRIS, MY MOM AND DAD, AND ANYONE WHO GAVE MONEY FOR ME TO BE USING THIS NEW COMPUTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
ENJOY----

ricky.

russie getting ready for a workout!

me and neiltjie.

me, brianie and neiltjie.

me and keaton.

walking the waterfront.

ricky, russie, neiltjie and i.

poem's sexy legs.

russie trying to swipe a kid's skateboard.

me and russie at church.

outside checker's.

me and russie in the park.