Saturday, 22 July 2006
he is running a 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction.
last weekend, melissa and i got free tickets to casting crowns. we helped sell merchandise and got to see the concert for free. it was so glorious because i realized how long it had been since i worshipped with lots of people like i used to. i dont' so much need that but it was more because it was so familiar that i enjoyed it. i must admit, it was clouded by emotion. outside the walls of that big church loomed winter rains and cold weather, as well as the absence of some of the most important people in my life today.
needless to say, the drugs sucked the boys back in. a week straight went by without any word from some of them. i thought i might have a nervous breakdown. my gosh, how did my parents cope for 5 years of this with me? i cannot imagine the pain, cause these kids aren't even my flesh and blood.
times are a changing. melissa and katarina leave in 4 weeks. can you believe that?
i am excited about my future in south africa. my mind rotates around the following topics:
prayer, street children, drugs, broken families, decaf coffee (praise the lord for it!), capricorn (how can i live in this community?), afrikaans, a new flat, exercise, drink more water, burma.
i'm consumed by these things and trying to put them ALL under the first one : prayer. God is speaking LOUDLY to me, but it's loud here and sometimes i just hear a bunch of nonsense. So, it takes me finding the quiet so God's voice can be understood.
So, pray for these rotating topics if you don't mind. And enjoy the new photos!
needless to say, the drugs sucked the boys back in. a week straight went by without any word from some of them. i thought i might have a nervous breakdown. my gosh, how did my parents cope for 5 years of this with me? i cannot imagine the pain, cause these kids aren't even my flesh and blood.
times are a changing. melissa and katarina leave in 4 weeks. can you believe that?
i am excited about my future in south africa. my mind rotates around the following topics:
prayer, street children, drugs, broken families, decaf coffee (praise the lord for it!), capricorn (how can i live in this community?), afrikaans, a new flat, exercise, drink more water, burma.
i'm consumed by these things and trying to put them ALL under the first one : prayer. God is speaking LOUDLY to me, but it's loud here and sometimes i just hear a bunch of nonsense. So, it takes me finding the quiet so God's voice can be understood.
So, pray for these rotating topics if you don't mind. And enjoy the new photos!
Wednesday, 12 July 2006
11 days clean.
“AND SO, THAT’S WHY I HAVE GIVEN UP CAFFEINE.”
NEIL LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A BIT CRAZY. KNOWING HOW MUCH COFFEE I DRINK IN ONE DAY, PERHAPS HE WAS AFRAID OF THE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS HE MIGHT ENCOUNTER FROM MY COFFEE FAST!
“SO, YOU NOT GONNA GET COFFEE TODAY?” NEIL ASKED.
I LOOKED AT HIM A BIT ANNOYED THAT HE WASN’T GETTING MY POINT. “NEIL, I’M NOT GONNA GET COFFEE FOR A LONG TIME. AND I DIDN’T GET COFFEE FOR LIKE A WEEK ALREADY. REMEMBER WHEN I STAYED HOME FOR 2 DAYS? THAT WAS BECAUSE MY BODY WAS GETTING OUT ALL THE COFFEE AND I WAS GETTING HEADACHES AND I WAS SWEATING. IT WAS LIKE I WAS COMING OFF A DRUG.”
NEIL WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND MY NECK AND BURIED HIS HEAD IN MY SHOULDER. HE DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK AT ME. AS I PRYED HIM OFF MY SHOULDER, I SAW HIS FACE WAS COVERED WITH A SMILE. HE LOOKED AT MELISSA, WHO NODDED HER HEAD.
”IT’S TRUE NEILTJIE”, MELISSA SAID WITH CONFIDENCE.
SATURDAY, JULY 1ST MELISSA AND I WERE DRIVING HOME AROUND 11:30 PM, WE PASSED A GROUP OF TOUGH-LOOKING BOYS ENTERING MUIZENBERG ON FOOT. AS WE GOT CLOSER, WE RECOGNIZED EACH FACE AND HONKED AS WE PASSED. IT WAS SOME OF THE KIDS WE KNOW FROM THE STREETS OF MUIZENBERG.
MELISSA AND I LOOKED AT ONE ANOTHER IN SILENCE. WE KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT. THEY HAD BEEN TO CAPRICORN, ALL OF THEM. AND THEY HAD ALL SMOKED CRYSTAL METH. YOU DON’T WALK FROM CAPRICORN AT MIDNIGHT WITH SUCH PEP IN YOUR STEP UNLESS YOU’VE BEEN SMOKING SOMETHING.
THE NEXT DAY WE WENT TO FETCH THE BOYS FOR CHURCH. THE MIDNIGHT GROUP WAS STILL GOING STRONG, WIDE AWAKE AND PARANOID. NONE OF THEM CAME TO CHURCH.
A BIT LATER I WENT TO CAPRICORN TO TAKE HOME ONE OF THE BOYS. WE SPOTTED NEIL, RICKY, AND BRIAN WALKING THROUGH THE STREET IN THE DIRECTION OF MUIZENBERG. WE WERE ABLE TO CATCH THEM ON THE MAIN ROAD, WHERE OUR 4-HOUR CONVERSATION BEGAN. THEY HAD ALL USED TIK THE NIGHT BEFORE. AND WERE QUICK TO ADMIT IT. THEY KNEW, ONCE AGAIN, THAT THEY WERE WRONG, THAT THEY HAD BROKEN A PROMISE. AND I THINK, FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEY WERE TIRED OF IT.
I STARTED CRYING, AS I ALWAYS DO. “OH, ASHLEY. PLEASE DON’T CRY.” NEIL SAID AS HE PULLED HIS SHIRT SLEEVE OVER HIS CURLED FINGERS AND WIPED MY TEARS AWAY WITH HIS WRIST. “DON’T CRY. IT’S OVER NOW.”
AND THAT’S WHEN I DECIDED TO GIVE UP COFFEE. IF I AT ALL EXPECT THESE BOYS TO GIVE UP A HARD DRUG LIKE CRYSTAL METH, THEN WHAT AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP AS WELL? I FOUND MYSELF ASKING THAT QUESTION. WITHOUT DOUBT, I AM A COFFEE ADDICT. I DRINK A LOT OF IT A LOT OF THE DAY. I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT I WAS BEING ASKED TO GIVE UP CAFFEEINE. EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME REBELLED AT THE THOUGHT. “ALRIGHT, I MUST BE ONTO SOMETHING THEN,” I THOUGHT IN RESPONSE TO MY DECISION.
NEIL AND I HAVE BOTH BEEN CLEAN 11 DAYS TODAY. I DON’T DRINK COFFEE. NEIL DOESN’T SMOKE TIK. I HAVE THIS STRANGE CONFIDENCE THIS TIME AROUND. I AM FULLY AWARE THAT NEIL WILL USE TIK AGAIN ONE DAY, FOR THIS IS NOT THE END OF OUR ROAD. BUT, IF 11 DAYS OF TIK-FREE NEIL CAN WALK THIS WORLD AND SEE IT WITH CLEAR EYES, THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT THOUGHTS COME INTO HIS HEAD THAT THE DRUGS MIGHT HAVE INHIBITED. THOUGHTS OF GOD OR HOPE OR LOVE OR FAMILY OR SCHOOL OR JOY RESTORED.
AND WITH WHAT RENEWED PASSION HE CAN LIVE ON THIS EARTH. IN THE 11 DAYS HE’S STAYED OFF TIK, HE’S RECONNECTED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND AND BEGAN SPENDING MORE TIME WITH HIM, HE’S EARNED MONEY BY PAINTING A HOUSE RATHER THAN BREAKING INTO IT, HE’S USED THAT MONEY FOR CHICKEN AND CHIPS RATHER THAN TIK, HE’S LAUGHED AND SMILED A LOT, AND HE EVEN WENT ONE WHOLE DAY WITHOUT USING GANGA—AND THAT’S A CHAMPION FEAT FOR A RASTA!
11 DAYS. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
PLEASE PRAY FOR NEIL AND THE FUTURE GOD HAS WAITING FOR HIM.
Monday, 03 July 2006
GREETINGS FROM CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA
Wow, it has been a long time. I don’t even know where to start! First of all, I want to thank the Worley family for sending me a new camera to replace my stolen one. It is so invaluable to have a way to document the lives here and my involvement in them. Thank you Dennis, Karla, Seth, Arley, Matt, and Ben for recognizing how important a camera is for my life and work here. Also, thank you to Meredith Macguirk, Amy Jenkins, the Hoppes, Beth Harris, and all of you who contributed to buying and sending me a new computer!!!! God has abundantly blessed me by replacing what was stolen in Cape Town a few months ago. I am excited to be able to communicate with you all again and more importantly, to share the amazing work God is doing in Cape Town!!
While most of the photos are of the chilren I work with, I am quite involved in the ministry of Fish Hoek drug crisis center. The growth of our little ministry is exciting as different communities are inviting us in! Most recently is the invitation from Ocean View, a community that has been quite closed to anyone helping improve the drug problem there. It is estimated that ¾ of the Ocean View high school population is using Crystal Meth, known as “tik” here. Last Friday was Youth Day in South Africa, a day set aside to remember those youth killed in the Sharpeville uprising during the apartheid era. Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center joined with our satellite branch in a colored community known as Lavender Hill (similar to the housing projects of 8th or 12th avenue in Nashville) and marched down the main road singing hymns in Xhosa and Afrikaans, dancing and carrying signs against tik use. Keaton and Ricky (two children living on the streets) joined me and we had a great day. I was asked to speak alongside John Roberts, my “boss” in the Drug Center and my African father! We had a moving experience as we saw the community join together and fight against the drug crisis spreading through the communities known as the “cape flats”—a term used to describe all the squatter communities and housing projects set aside for blacks and coloreds during apartheid. Sadly, the end of apartheid did not mean the end of such communities and 12 years later, many people live like they did during white rule. I love being in these communities and find them to be so welcoming. Sometimes I spend hours in Capricorn (the township my boys are from), visiting families and meeting people. Here are some photos from our day in Lavender Hill…
PARTNERS IN CRIME: I'd like to introduce you to some of the people i work alongside...
melissa.
john roberts.
jenny.
katarina.
ryan.
Melissa is my wonderful roommate and fellow worker with the kids. In the mornings while I am at the Drug center, she is working at the hospice writing policies for Living Hope. Jenny is from England and works with Youth With A Mission as a youth outreach worker in the schools of Cape Town. She also lives in Muizenberg and knows the kids we work with. John Roberts is my “boss” at the drug crisis center. He spent 20 years as a drug addict, living on the streets and in prison. He has been sober 22 years and now does amazing work with recovering addicts in the communities. Katharina is from Germany and works for Beautiful Gate Muizenberg, a branch of YWAM. They are a children’s home for former street kids from Cape Town. She is greatly involved in our boys lives also. Ryan Dalton worked for Beautiful Gate from 1999-2005. He is now finishing his degree in social work at the University of Cape Town and spends most of his free time either on the streets of Cape Town with the street children there, or in Khayelitsha, the township most of the Cape Town kids are from.
STORIES TO SHARE
I was visiting Capricorn (the township my boys are from) the other day and a man from the community asked me the infamous questions: “What are you doing with these kids? What is your aim?” I answered him by saying “To make some positive impact in each child’s life. To leave their life better off than it was before.” This question/answer got me thinking about how that looks so different for each child, and how that is such a fluid responsibility considering the constant needs and issues in their lives. I am more than ever convinced that these children are constantly preyed upon by various people and issues, from pedophiles to gangs to drugs to broken homes. They come from such devastation, and it is exciting to see God carve a way into the stone-like hearts they have developed in order to survive in this life.
Andrew (we call him poem, pronounced “poom”). Andrew is 13 and has been on and off the streets for a year or so. When I met him he was developing an awful case of scabies. He’s a cute kid and is important for the others because his face makes money, meaning he evokes more sympathy in the average passer-by than an older or less attractive child. At first he was adamantly opposed to taking us to his home. Each day we would drive into Capricorn and visit friends or take kids to see their families. As time passed, Poem finally decided we’d go to his house, whereas before he would react violently to such an idea. We met his mother Janet and his 2 little sisters and his niece. We began taking Poem home each afternoon and now he’s been totally staying at home for about 3 weeks. He comes to Muizenberg from time to time but overall he is back at home and we are so happy about this reunion!!! Here are some pictures of Poem and his family...
Neil is turning 16 this week! His older brother died on December 22, 2005. The other older brother is heavily into drugs and gang life and wants Neil to join him. Neil dropped out of school 2 years ago because “there were too many guns there”. His mother is an alcoholic and his father, who he's seen only twice in his life, is in Joburg. His stepfather is a drug addict and regularly beat Neil with anything he could get his hands on. Neil lived with his aunt in Lavender Hill for a while but eventually moved to Muizenberg because it was safer. However, he is now living on the streets and is starting to really experiment with hard drugs, specifically tik. He is a hypersensitive child, extremely malleable, and incredibly gentle. I find that the more I pour into him the love and truth of Christ, the more spiritual warfare he experiences in his daily life. He falls as we all do, but he longs for something more. God has deeply burdened my heart for this boy, and God uses Neil to keep me very focused on what I can do or say to make a positive impact. Here are a few photos of Neiltjie…
trying to talk neil through a bad drug binge (something i find myself doing all too often with these kids).
a few days of sobriety later.
FUN TIME
These are just some random photos of our life from day to day. We like to give the kids some sense of life outside of the streets. Maybe that is a drive to cape town or a meal at mcdonald’s. Maybe that is a movie night with hot chocolate or a hike up the beautiful mountains around us. We try to use our time productively, but also spend a significant amount of time in THEIR world so that we can get the best assessment of the battles they must fight and how we can equip them. It is in these times “on the streets” that we learn the most about a child’s past, and what they love and think and dream, and what characteristics of God they have been given. I love that part of this work!
SPECIFIC PRAYERS REQUESTS AND PRAISES
1. More funding for the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center. We run solely on donations and we want to do so much more than we can because we do not have proper funding.
2. The dynamics of Living Hope. Much is changing in the structure of this organization. Pray that the staff persevere and feel valued.
3. The persecution we face. So much of the Muizneberg community HATES us (literally) for being friends with the kids. I have been accused of awful things and the kids feel anger at the injustice of it all. The community has chosen to outcast these children and me as well. Pray that we can all be an example of Christ when we are attacked, that we could walk away from angry people, and that we could speak truth when it is helpful to do so.
4. Winter. It’s cold here. Pray for warmth as the kids sleep outside and dryness because their blankets were all stolen recently by the security guards that roam the city. Yes, the security guards stole their blankets. This was after they threw stones at them. It’s a sad thing.
5. Melissa goes back to America is 2 months, and Katharina goes to Germany 3 days after Melissa. Pray God would begin preparing them for what lies ahead and preparing the boys for their departure. It won’t be an easy time for any of us.
6. Clarity for my future in South Africa. I believe God has brought me here for a long term commitment and I am praying through what that means, how to start fundraising for another year, and getting a new visa.
7. Bala and Russie are hanging out with an older gangster, Mano, quite regularly. I see a very sad change in both of these children. I don't want them to follow Mano. We pray that Mano either repents or gets removed from the situation. He is a powerful force in their lives.
8. Brontino has been in a form (boarding school/jail) for the past few months. He gets out this month. Please pray for his transition. It's not exciting for us to see him come back out because he has been through a lot in the past year and he returns to a much less safe environment.
Thank you to all of you for making it possible for me to be in South Africa, to work for Living Hope and John Roberts in the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center, and to spend my free time with the street children of South Africa. All of these things richly bless my life and show me so much of God’s love and his desire for us to pour out our lives as living sacrifices. Thank you for praying for me and financially supporting me and I ask you to continue that support however you can.
Much love to you from South Africa!!! Don’t forget the blog at www.reflectioninwater.blogspot.com, or my email at Ashleyinafrica@gmail.com
Further up and Further in,
Ashley.
While most of the photos are of the chilren I work with, I am quite involved in the ministry of Fish Hoek drug crisis center. The growth of our little ministry is exciting as different communities are inviting us in! Most recently is the invitation from Ocean View, a community that has been quite closed to anyone helping improve the drug problem there. It is estimated that ¾ of the Ocean View high school population is using Crystal Meth, known as “tik” here. Last Friday was Youth Day in South Africa, a day set aside to remember those youth killed in the Sharpeville uprising during the apartheid era. Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center joined with our satellite branch in a colored community known as Lavender Hill (similar to the housing projects of 8th or 12th avenue in Nashville) and marched down the main road singing hymns in Xhosa and Afrikaans, dancing and carrying signs against tik use. Keaton and Ricky (two children living on the streets) joined me and we had a great day. I was asked to speak alongside John Roberts, my “boss” in the Drug Center and my African father! We had a moving experience as we saw the community join together and fight against the drug crisis spreading through the communities known as the “cape flats”—a term used to describe all the squatter communities and housing projects set aside for blacks and coloreds during apartheid. Sadly, the end of apartheid did not mean the end of such communities and 12 years later, many people live like they did during white rule. I love being in these communities and find them to be so welcoming. Sometimes I spend hours in Capricorn (the township my boys are from), visiting families and meeting people. Here are some photos from our day in Lavender Hill…
PARTNERS IN CRIME: I'd like to introduce you to some of the people i work alongside...
melissa.
john roberts.
jenny.
katarina.
ryan.
Melissa is my wonderful roommate and fellow worker with the kids. In the mornings while I am at the Drug center, she is working at the hospice writing policies for Living Hope. Jenny is from England and works with Youth With A Mission as a youth outreach worker in the schools of Cape Town. She also lives in Muizenberg and knows the kids we work with. John Roberts is my “boss” at the drug crisis center. He spent 20 years as a drug addict, living on the streets and in prison. He has been sober 22 years and now does amazing work with recovering addicts in the communities. Katharina is from Germany and works for Beautiful Gate Muizenberg, a branch of YWAM. They are a children’s home for former street kids from Cape Town. She is greatly involved in our boys lives also. Ryan Dalton worked for Beautiful Gate from 1999-2005. He is now finishing his degree in social work at the University of Cape Town and spends most of his free time either on the streets of Cape Town with the street children there, or in Khayelitsha, the township most of the Cape Town kids are from.
STORIES TO SHARE
I was visiting Capricorn (the township my boys are from) the other day and a man from the community asked me the infamous questions: “What are you doing with these kids? What is your aim?” I answered him by saying “To make some positive impact in each child’s life. To leave their life better off than it was before.” This question/answer got me thinking about how that looks so different for each child, and how that is such a fluid responsibility considering the constant needs and issues in their lives. I am more than ever convinced that these children are constantly preyed upon by various people and issues, from pedophiles to gangs to drugs to broken homes. They come from such devastation, and it is exciting to see God carve a way into the stone-like hearts they have developed in order to survive in this life.
Andrew (we call him poem, pronounced “poom”). Andrew is 13 and has been on and off the streets for a year or so. When I met him he was developing an awful case of scabies. He’s a cute kid and is important for the others because his face makes money, meaning he evokes more sympathy in the average passer-by than an older or less attractive child. At first he was adamantly opposed to taking us to his home. Each day we would drive into Capricorn and visit friends or take kids to see their families. As time passed, Poem finally decided we’d go to his house, whereas before he would react violently to such an idea. We met his mother Janet and his 2 little sisters and his niece. We began taking Poem home each afternoon and now he’s been totally staying at home for about 3 weeks. He comes to Muizenberg from time to time but overall he is back at home and we are so happy about this reunion!!! Here are some pictures of Poem and his family...
Neil is turning 16 this week! His older brother died on December 22, 2005. The other older brother is heavily into drugs and gang life and wants Neil to join him. Neil dropped out of school 2 years ago because “there were too many guns there”. His mother is an alcoholic and his father, who he's seen only twice in his life, is in Joburg. His stepfather is a drug addict and regularly beat Neil with anything he could get his hands on. Neil lived with his aunt in Lavender Hill for a while but eventually moved to Muizenberg because it was safer. However, he is now living on the streets and is starting to really experiment with hard drugs, specifically tik. He is a hypersensitive child, extremely malleable, and incredibly gentle. I find that the more I pour into him the love and truth of Christ, the more spiritual warfare he experiences in his daily life. He falls as we all do, but he longs for something more. God has deeply burdened my heart for this boy, and God uses Neil to keep me very focused on what I can do or say to make a positive impact. Here are a few photos of Neiltjie…
trying to talk neil through a bad drug binge (something i find myself doing all too often with these kids).
a few days of sobriety later.
FUN TIME
These are just some random photos of our life from day to day. We like to give the kids some sense of life outside of the streets. Maybe that is a drive to cape town or a meal at mcdonald’s. Maybe that is a movie night with hot chocolate or a hike up the beautiful mountains around us. We try to use our time productively, but also spend a significant amount of time in THEIR world so that we can get the best assessment of the battles they must fight and how we can equip them. It is in these times “on the streets” that we learn the most about a child’s past, and what they love and think and dream, and what characteristics of God they have been given. I love that part of this work!
SPECIFIC PRAYERS REQUESTS AND PRAISES
1. More funding for the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center. We run solely on donations and we want to do so much more than we can because we do not have proper funding.
2. The dynamics of Living Hope. Much is changing in the structure of this organization. Pray that the staff persevere and feel valued.
3. The persecution we face. So much of the Muizneberg community HATES us (literally) for being friends with the kids. I have been accused of awful things and the kids feel anger at the injustice of it all. The community has chosen to outcast these children and me as well. Pray that we can all be an example of Christ when we are attacked, that we could walk away from angry people, and that we could speak truth when it is helpful to do so.
4. Winter. It’s cold here. Pray for warmth as the kids sleep outside and dryness because their blankets were all stolen recently by the security guards that roam the city. Yes, the security guards stole their blankets. This was after they threw stones at them. It’s a sad thing.
5. Melissa goes back to America is 2 months, and Katharina goes to Germany 3 days after Melissa. Pray God would begin preparing them for what lies ahead and preparing the boys for their departure. It won’t be an easy time for any of us.
6. Clarity for my future in South Africa. I believe God has brought me here for a long term commitment and I am praying through what that means, how to start fundraising for another year, and getting a new visa.
7. Bala and Russie are hanging out with an older gangster, Mano, quite regularly. I see a very sad change in both of these children. I don't want them to follow Mano. We pray that Mano either repents or gets removed from the situation. He is a powerful force in their lives.
8. Brontino has been in a form (boarding school/jail) for the past few months. He gets out this month. Please pray for his transition. It's not exciting for us to see him come back out because he has been through a lot in the past year and he returns to a much less safe environment.
Thank you to all of you for making it possible for me to be in South Africa, to work for Living Hope and John Roberts in the Fish Hoek Drug Crisis Center, and to spend my free time with the street children of South Africa. All of these things richly bless my life and show me so much of God’s love and his desire for us to pour out our lives as living sacrifices. Thank you for praying for me and financially supporting me and I ask you to continue that support however you can.
Much love to you from South Africa!!! Don’t forget the blog at www.reflectioninwater.blogspot.com, or my email at Ashleyinafrica@gmail.com
Further up and Further in,
Ashley.