i love exploring. i really do.
sometimes, my love of exploring collided with my love of books. used bookstores where you find a treasure from time to time(i once found a really old copy of 'the prophet' by khalil gibran in a dumpy bookstore in hermanus. another time i found the new english version of the bible--my favorite--with the apocrypha in a thrift store in franklin). cheap book sales at exclusive books. yard sales where people sometimes throw away gems of reading material.
so i confess that there is this secret room i have access to that has piles of books, the content of which changes from time to time. most are dusty christian love novels, not my cup of tea by the way. there are sometimes cool children's books. but the other day i scored, well...in my opinion it was like making a 57 yard field goal (my friend kevin did that in high school).
line by line it shows the greek writing and the literal translation into english. it's really fun'
so i borrowed it, with permission of the cleaning lady :)
i started at page 1 = matthew chapter 1. the genealogy of jesus, lots of names, etc. then the story of mary and joseph, etc. stuff we have read to us since we are like negative years old. but these familiar verses, through the magic of the interlinear bible (i don't mean harry potter, just like magic in the sense of like peter pan and mary poppins stuff, and on a larger scale, GOD--ta da!!!!)
so i'm gonna tell you what it made me think (you can read the text yourself if you want. i know for me, i often skip over bible verses people put in emails and on blogs and stuff.)
matthew 1:18-25.
it speaks about joseph and his journey to understand his plight with a pregnant fiance. maybe he had dreams of the "firsts" they would share together as a married couple: honeymoon night, first house together, the birth of their first child, etc. suddenly his dreams, his pride and dignity are threatened. his first instinct is to "secretely put her away" (v.19). then god intercedes on behalf of his child joseph's pain just in time to save his divine plan.
god explained the greatness of his plan and joseph's integral role in it. the first thing god does is meet joseph at his fear : that she is not a virgin. the holy spirit clears that up, which opens joseph's mind to the beauty and amazingness of the task god has given to him and the woman he loves.
and in all god's tender mercy, he gives joseph the task of naming the baby. he now has a very specific place that includes him in the intimate wonder of the birth process. "and he took to him his wife...and he called (the baby) jesus" (v.24/25).
and then there was mary...
a young girl given an enormous task. to bear the child of god. confused by the miracle of immaculate conception in her virgin body. scared by the presence of the angel of god. we are not told anything hinting that mary got regular confirmations throughout her pregnancy. the order was given, mary accepted, (at one point jesus leaps in her womb for joy), and 9 months later her baby arrived.
it is still hard to believe mary didn't have moments, perhaps days upon days of doubt. we don't know that god continually sent signs and affirmations (something i ask for all the time). it was the greatest walk of faith and mary was faithful at the end of it all.
what are the things in my life that i want to hear more about from god? do i believe in the security of blind faith? am i that patient before the lord? i mean, pregnancy is a long road. just the other day, my friend jennifer who is due anyday now, told me "this pregnancy has felt like an eternity". the daily grind of maintaining the duties of life while experiencing the incredible changes in your body and mind as you adapt to this baby growing in your belly. the pains, the exhaustion, the waiting. and then there is the anxiety and anticipation that builds up as the due date draws closer.
and as for joseph...the humility he learned in such a short amount of time. the preparations he tended to, the care he gave to mary. possibly lingering resentments, self-pity, anger. the ridicule and slander from the society around him.
MY POINT IS---it is mary's son (v.25) but joseph's role to name (v. 25). each had a purpose, by god's grace. although they didn't share the sex which creates a baby, god gave them each a role that would bring them together the moment jesus showed his face. two pillars of blind faith joining in parenthood in a shed with farm animals. suddenly celebrities, no humbled by a new truth = that god believed in them and he kept his promises!
this makes me think of high school. how every other person was like "what's the point of life? why am i here?" very common questions for teenagers. and as they search for purpose in cliques, in sports, in academics, in rebellious behavior, in planning for their future, they each will reach the point when those things will not answer their questions of purpose.
but how incredibly great of god to say "hey, here is what i am doing. and here is your part in it. you were made for this moment." when god's acceptance of you and proclaiming of your uniqueness enter's your body, it's like laser beams shoot out of your eyes (not like alien stuff, i mean like twinkling eyes), a smile stretches ear to ear, and your chest expands as you take in the answers your soul has been looking for.
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