joshua imagined.

i sure do wish they had cameras back in bible times. i'd give a lot to see what Joshua looked like. I think he was a hottie. I really do.
I think he was young, maybe my age. After all, I am young :)
I think of him in American ways...but I guess he was an Arab. hmmm...i cannot remember ever finding an arab male physically attractive, but i am sure there are exceptions. let's pretend he was really hot.
this morning over coffee and raisin bran, i knew God was leading me to read Joshua. I woke up in fear. To be honest, I am afraid of lots of stuff right now. And satan's really pressing in to me right now, I felt him alot yesterday. I felt really unable to be near God but I knew I was...I just knew I was being lied to by the enemy. I was way to worried about things that don't matter. And that's nothing of God.

"Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground before the ark of the Lord, remaining there till evening. The elders of Israel did the same, and sprinkled dust on their heads. And Joshua said, "Ah, Sovereign Lord, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destory us?...What then will you do for your own great name."

The LORD said to Joshua, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?"

I laughed out loud as I read this. Soy milk came spewing out of my nose, I found this so humorous. God speaking always makes my heart beat a little faster. Like when I'm reading the chronicles and Aslan appears. For those who read these books, you know it's a short lived scene but it's going to blow your mind and leave you with goosebumps.
I was so into this story, imagining Joshua prostrate, torn clothes, disheveled hair and tear-stained face, screaming "AH!!" at God. And that was really attractive to me. A man on his face before God. Thinking he'd done the right thing, thinking God had led him through Jericho and to the city of Ai to capture it. Thinking his second major war decision was flawless: send 3000 men instead of the whole army (Joshua 7:4). And they come back, tail between their legs, defeated in their own eyes. How awful would this feel for Joshua? i just wanted to comfort him.
But then God speaks and I realized Joshua's tactic of asking God for clarity was too complicated. If God has made a promise and then it seems that the opposite is happening, our first move should not be to question God. It should be to question ourselves? Have we been disobedient? Is God witholding something he promised BECAUSE we aren't keeping our end of the deal. Looking back on my own life, it's been either YES or I'm just rushing God. It's never been that God lied or forgot what he said or changed his promise. He added on to it or completed it and immediatel started something else, but he never broke his word. And he never will.

So God's telling Joshua "Get up, doofus! What are you doing down on your face?"

Turns out the Israelites had stolen some goods from Jericho and buried them in their tents, something God had specifically said not to do: "But keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it." (Joshua 6:18)

Oops!

The answer was simple. Israel had been disobedient (Again!). God kept his word, he punished the whole camp for their disobedience.

What does this mean for our lives?
Well, what has God told us he'd do but not yet done? And what are we doing to skimp out on our side of the deal? He's got to keep his word, even if it means destroying us or our plans.

So, that means a lot for me today. God's destroyed alot of my plans, even things he gave me that I knew were good and gifts from him. But they came with an agreement--an agreement I broke. So, God took those gifts away and moved on.

Luckily, he moved me on too and he's doing something new. Thank God for forgiveness.

"The journey had begun. And now the fear back again, the fear of the unknown, the fear of the great city where boys were killed crossing the street, the fear of...sickness...
Deep down the fear of a man who lives in a world not made for him, whose own world is slipping away, dying, being destroyed, beyond any recall.
Already the knees are weak of the man who a moment since had shown his little vanity, told his little lie, before these respectful people.
The humble man reached in his pocket for his sacred book, and began to read. It was this world alone that was certain."
--Alan Paton. Cry, the Beloved Country.