Monday, 29 October 2007

read and look at THIS.

i just finished one of the most life-altering books that my eyes have laid themselves upon---and i love books.
it's called "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken.
With 18 letters by cs lewis included, it really offers a perspective from a man deeply in love with his wife, his friend lewis, and finally his savior jesus.

it connects the pagan with the deeply theological as beautifully as any book i've read. so for those of you who enjoy lewis and LOVE a good love story, read this book.

here are some random photos for you!

this is me and my friend zana. she's from rolling hills. we were at one of ryan's shows in cape town.


this is a mixed group of lots of special people: five are from germany and part of the "each one teach one" crew that ryan collaborates with (but one of the 5 is taking this photo), a few i don't know but i think one is the german ambassador, two are djs who deserve many high-fives, and then there's some mc's.


ubuntu street in gugulethu. "ubuntu" is a big post-1994/apartheid idea of "we are who we are through others" or something like that. basically, it is used to stress the oneness of us all THROUGH our need of being connected to everyone.


ryan and i eating lemon sorbet! dairy free is fun!


this is penny lane...with her hair all grown out, making rice krispie sticks at our flat!

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

rainer maria rilke the german.

living with someone is fun. living with someone named ryan is WAY fun. i like that i can come home and sit down at the desk and see lots of cool books lying there without explanation. i want to ask ryan where these books came from, but he's out. i want to ask the books, "why are you here?" but they don't talk.

so i just started reading them, bits and pieces to get a taste, what's their flavor and such. i got sucked in like a indian ocean current by this one book, "letters to a young poet." for some reason, the title sounds familiar. maybe somewhere in those hazy college days that i aced with flying colors :) i heard about this book. probably from quirky professor murray with the howling halloween ghost socks.

anyways...

here's a quote, and i quote:
" you ask if your verses are good. you ask me. you have previously asked others. you send them to journals. you compare them with other poems, and you are troubled when certain editors reject your efforts. now (as you have permitted me to advise you) i beg you to give all that up. you are looking outwards, and of all things that is what you must now not do. nobody can advise and help you, nobody. there is only one single means. go inside yourself. discover the motive that bids you write; examine whether it sends its roots down to the deepest places of your heart, confess to yourself whether you would have to die if writing were denied you. this before all: ask yourself in the quietest hour of your night: must i write? dig down into yourself for a deep answer. and if this should be in the affirmative, if you may meet this solemn question with a strong and simple "i must", then build your life according to this necessity; your life must, right to its most unimportant and insignificant hour, become a token and a witness of this impulse...a work of art is good if it has grown out of necessity."

wow i love that. is what i do out of necessity, or is it insecurity, routine, boredom, fear? why do i do what i do? why i am in cape town? why am i a book freak? why do i love sewing and making things? why do i value people and their stories? why do i need to exercise to feel good about myself?

am i a person whose passion is such out of necessity? i like this question. i like thinking about necessity being a driving force.

cause i think it should be that way in our life. we should do things because we can't NOT do them. we can't not breathe, eat, play. not doing these things leads to death.

marinate on that for a minute.

Friday, 12 October 2007

this makes me so happy!


Former Vice President Al Gore and the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize Friday for their efforts to spread awareness of man-made climate change and lay the foundations for counteracting it.

"I am deeply honored to receive the Nobel Peace Prize," Gore said in a statement. "We face a true planetary emergency. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity."

Gore won an Academy Award this year for his film "An Inconvenient Truth," a documentary on global warming, and had been widely expected to win the prize.

His strong commitment, reflected in political activity, lectures, films and books, has strengthened the struggle against climate change," the citation said. "He is probably the single individual who has done most to create greater worldwide understanding of the measures that need to be adopted."

It cited Gore's awareness at an early stage "of the climatic challenges the world is facing."

Gore said he would donate his share of the $1.5 million that accompanies the prize to the non-profit Alliance for Climate Protection.

"He's like the proverbial nut that grew into a giant oak by standing his ground," Patrick Michaels, a scholar with the free market Cato Institute, said in a statement. "We can only hope that he can parlay his prize into a run for the U. S. presidency, where he will be unable to hide from debate on his extreme and one-sided view of global warming."

British bookmakers once put 100-to-1 odds on Gore winning an Oscar, becoming a Nobel laureate and becoming president. He has now accomplished two of the three, and on Friday bookies slashed the odds to 8/1 from 10/1.

Friday, 05 October 2007

a brief history lesson on burma for those of you who are wondering why all this is happening.

Chronic mismanagement

When the military took power in 1962, then-military strongman Ne Win decided to take the country down an isolationist path, the "Burmese Way to Socialism" as it was called, which stressed self-sufficiency, and called for the nationalisation of almost all private companies.

Military officers took over these companies, as well as many civil service positions. It was their mismanagement that led to chronic inflation and near economic collapse by 1988, and the mass protests that came close to overthrowing the government at that time.

After that, the military tried opening up the economy to market forces and foreign investment, but it has never been willing to release its grip on crucial areas of the economy:

Imports and exports all require licenses, confronting entrepreneurs with mountains of red tape, and opening opportunities for corruption.

The trade in rice is entirely controlled by military-connected companies.

Internal transport is hobbled by poor infrastructure and frequent military bans on access to troubled areas.

Many commodities are subsidised, but available in very limited quantities.
There is an official exchange rate for the local currency, the kyat, which is 200 times lower than the black market rate.

Add to that the fact that more than half the annual budget goes to the armed forces, and that Burma is subject to strict sanctions by the United States and the European Union, and it has proved impossible for Burma to lift itself out of poverty.

The construction of a secretive new capital city since 2005, hacked out of the bush 400km (249 miles) north of Rangoon, must have added considerably to the government's financial difficulties, although it has given no figures for how much this mega-project is costing.

A decision to raise admittedly paltry civil service salaries by up to 1,200% last year did not help either, although civil servants could scarcely survive on salaries that sometimes fell below $3 a month.


Grinding poverty

The result is what the United Nations describes as a largely unreported humanitarian crisis.

UN figures show that one in three children is chronically malnourished, government spending on health and education is among the lowest anywhere in the world, and average income is below $300 a year.

LIFE IN BURMA
Population - 50m
Children in primary education - 85%
Life expectancy at birth - 61 years
Infant mortality - 76 per 1,000 births
Health spend - 2.8% (World avge - 10.2%)
Under 5s undernourished - 31.8%
Source: World Bank 2004


Diseases like tuberculosis and HIV/Aids are increasing at frightening rates.

"The World Food Programme [WFP] provides food aid to 500,000 people across Myanmar [Burma] but that really only represents the poorest of the poor," said Paul Risley at the WFP in Bangkok.

"What we've found is that over the last decade, opposite to virtually every other country in Asia where slowly poverty is being gnawed away at and food security is becoming more commonplace, in Myanmar there are more people living below the poverty line and more people facing food insecurity," he said.

Towards the end of last year, prices of basic commodities began rising sharply in Burma. Rice, eggs, and cooking oil all went up by around 30-40%.

For a population that on average spends 70% of its income on food, this was very difficult to absorb. It is not clear why this happened, but the inherent distortions and rigidities in the military's economic management can easily lead to sudden bottlenecks in the supply and prices of basic necessities.


Dramatic decision

Then came the rise in fuel prices on 15 August. There was no warning. Gas prices rose by 500%, and diesel - which more or less powers everything in Burma, from transport to the essential generators - doubled in price.

The impact was immediate. People could not afford to go to work, and the increased cost of transport started pushing food prices even higher.

Within days activists were out on the streets in protest. When they were arrested, the monks - who can accurately measure economic distress by the food put into their begging bowls every morning - took their place.

Like so many decisions made by the reclusive generals, the sudden hike in fuel prices is hard to fathom.

The IMF had advised weaning the population off subsidised fuel, because with rising world oil prices it was becoming an unsustainable burden for Burma, which although rich in natural gas, relies on imports for almost all of its refined petrol and diesel.

But it is unlikely the IMF would have supported such a dramatic, and unannounced price rise.


'Parallel world'

At the time some speculated that perhaps the generals were trying to provoke an uprising, to see who their enemies were.

But their ubiquitous intelligence networks would surely already have that information. More likely it implies they did not understand the shocking economic impact the move would have.

Living in a privileged, parallel world, Burma's armed forces are virtually a state within a state, subject to none of the chronic economic insecurity that afflicts the rest of the country.

Many of the generals have become immensely rich - the video of the wedding of senior general Than Shwe's daughter, dripping in diamonds worth many millions of dollars, is testimony to that.

Secluded in their luxury villas in Naypyidaw, cut off from the squalor of Rangoon and other towns, Burma's military rulers probably had no idea that their clumsy decision would cause such immediate economic pain - that thousands would override their fear of the soldiers, and come out to join the monks on the streets.

(taken from bbc news website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7023548.stm)

the brady bunch in color:

hee hee -- isn't this just the coolest? john and trish with their now NINE children. i remember when this couple was watching tv and acting all lovey-dovey for a living. now they are raising up the masses. i just LUV it!!!

Friday, 28 September 2007

rangoon under seige.

Rangoon was covered with gunfire smoke on Thursday as security forces and armed military troops used an iron fist to disperse tens of thousands of demonstrators in the second day of the Burmese junta’s crackdown on the largest democracy uprising in 20 years. State media reported Thursday evening that nine protesters were killed.

Witnesses in Rangoon believed that the death toll would be higher. Security forces attempted to disperse tens of thousands of people gathered near Sule Pagoda in Rangoon and South Okkalapa Township on Thursday afternoon, witnesses said. The report could not be independently confirmed. Scores of people were beaten by security forces.

Troops fired directly into protesting crowds, using automatic weapons on at least one occasion. Warning shots were also fired above the heads of protesters as an estimated 70,000 anti-government demonstrators braved the overpowering force of the troops and security forces.

Protesters were outraged at security forces following an overnight raid on at least three Buddhist monasteries. Soldiers reportedly beat up and arrested about 700 monks, who had spearheaded the largest challenge to the junta since a failed democracy uprising 19 years ago. One monk reportedly died.

The Japanese Embassy reported on Thursday evening that a Japanese photojournalist died in the gunfire. Pictures released on the Internet show the journalist lying on his back in the street with one hand raised up holding his camera. A soldier wearing flip flops is pointing his rifle at the journalist.



A second photograph shows the journalist’s face contorted and his arm now rests on the ground, apparently shot a second time at point blank range.

The photojournalist was Kanji Nagai, 51, according to the Japanese video news agency APF News.

to read more updates from thursday, click HERE

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

being pruned?

a man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. so he said to the man who took care of the vineyard,"for 3 years not i've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. cut it down! why should it use up the soil?"

"'sir', the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and i'll dig around it and fertilize it. if it bears fruit next year, fine! if not, then cut it down.'" (luke 13:6-9)



"this is often what we do when we examine our own failures, our "fruitlessness" in light of reality. we look at ourselves (the tree), and we expect to be able to keep our marriges together, to raise perfect children, to make loyal friends, and to perform our work without error (the fruit). when we fail and then become depressed, fearful, or anxious (bad fruit), we cut ourselves down by saying "i should be able to do that." "i shouldn't get so angry." "i should be able to get closer to people." "i should be able to accomplish more." "i should be able to be like so and so." at this point, we are like a house divided against itself. like the tree owner, we want growth, but we judge ourselves quickly and harshly without taking the time to figure out the problem. we operate with truth and no grace...

"sometimes we operate with grace and no truth. we say things like "it doesn't matter." "that's really the best i could do." "i can't help it that he reacted that way." "i couldn't help myself." dead wood (fruitlessness) takes up space in our lives (our vineyard). either we allow our inability to relate to others or to control our anger or to discipline our children to go on as it has been, continually rotting our lives and robbing us of hte delicious fruit God has in store for us, or we deny that we have a problem, with even more disastrous results...

"to some degree, we all do both: sometimes we yell "cut it down," and at other times we ignore it. but one thing is for sure: when we either ignore our failure to bear fruit in the image of God, or we judge its absence with an angry "cut it down," we end up either in grace or truth, and we do not grow." (excerpt from changes that heal, by dr. henry cloud)
whew. i read that this morning after being touched by john 15:1-5, where God tells me that if he hasn't "taken me away" as a branch of his son, then he's just busy pruning me so that i bear MORE fruit. i am reading up on this because i feel very sore from God's "pruning" lately. i'm not having fun with it!

but this morning God broke through my psalm 13 cries: "how long o lord? will you forget me forever?". he told me "i'm just busy pruning you. have grace. have truth. and have patience. i'll be done in time.

i hope this touches some of you as much as it has touched me!

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

"my monks".


as liz would say, "my monks" are struggling. on monday nite, the government met with the senior monk of the monastery i taught at in yangon.

please be praying for the special country, and all those stuck in the middle of this hell.

YANGON, Myanmar (AP) -- Myanmar's military government issued a threat Monday to the barefoot Buddhist monks who led 100,000 people marching through a major city in the strongest protests against the repressive regime for two decades. The warning shows the increasing pressure the junta is under to either crack down on or compromise with a reinvigorated democracy movement. The monks have taken their traditional role as the conscience of society, backing the military into a corner from which it may lash out again.

just some photos for your curious eyes!


ryan performing at the one year birthday party of his radio show "sidewalk talk".


my birthday lunch...ryan was taking many photos of me, and smearing latte foam all over his face in the meantime.


my birthday gift: a sewing machine. our flat is turning into a sweat shop.


ryan and the young soldiers, a group he is helping to make it BIG!!!


the mysterious dj eazy!


good ole' worm with some adoring fans...ryan's former flatmate.


dead whale floating in the water outside of st. james beach.


me, jenni and ponty on a walk to kalk bay...just stopping to check out the belly-up whale in the water!


jenni and ponty with a bionic woman.


ponty :)


birthday day, made my chef ryan: italian chicken :)


spasmol: the medicine for overactive colons!


me without my spasmol!


lion's head: part of table mountain national park in cape town.


mel and i atop lion's head!!!


first signs of spring.


grade 10 prom ryan and i attended!!!


ryan and i at a birthday party!


rainbow outside our flat!


view from the other direction of our balcony :)


campkids: carlen, clinton, and simone.


my new ministry: birthday cakes :)


ryan and i at the prom :)


our latest partner in crime: lindsay at beth uriel.


ryan in an 80's hip hop outfit!


me.

Saturday, 08 September 2007

Saturday, 01 September 2007

aug 23 press release: us campaign for burma.


Abuses by Burma's military regime are not limited to cracking down on protestors in Rangoon. Over 3,000 ethnic minority villages have been burned, landmined, or forcibly relocated by Than Shwe's regime over the past decade. To put this in the context of a better-known world crisis, this is roughly twice as many villages as have been destroyed in Darfur, Sudan. Recent scientific reports show that health indicators for conflict areas in Burma are now on par with conflict zones in Africa. Burma's military regime has
also recruited up to 70,000 child soldiers, far more than any other country in the world, while refusing to adequately fund HIV/AIDs programs. Over 1 million refugees have fled the country, while 500,000 remain internal refugees in the war zones of eastern Burma.

Friday, 31 August 2007

"farewell (for now)" makes me nauseaus. but it's why i love these brilliant souls.


Dearest Listener,
After seven years of extensive touring in support of three records (seventeen years as a band), we've decided to take a break of indefinite length at the end of 2007 to preserve the environment we've sought so hard to create and to pursue other interests. It has been a pleasure to write, record, and perform for you through the years and we'd like to heartily thank you for your invaluable contribution to our musical lives.

Yours,

Nickel Creek



the first time i read those words, i was riding along the indian ocean in my car withmy husband, listening to nickel creek's recent released "reasons why: the very best" album. good thing i wasn't driving, (a) because i was also reading, and (b) because i felt this pain shoot into my stomach and thought i might need to roll down the windows to throw up.

can it be?

but i love them for it. i love them even more than i ever have. what a brilliant thoughtful decision. something left to look forward to. like when i get a black bean and goat cheese tamale at bosco's in hillsboro village, never know when i'll have one again. i wait for it to come again.

and so it is with my lovely friends, sarah, sean and chris. yes, i'm obsessed, and proud of it! they are brilliant and i remember days just coming off of drugs when i would sit in my car in the front yard, listening to their self-titled album over and over. i had to buy it 3 times cause that's how worn out each one became from the repetitive circling in my cd player.



and WHY did no one tell me that nickel creek left for a tour with fiona apple on august 2nd???? they better make a live cd for me, cause it's beautiful stuff on their myspace page.


and that they are opening for ben harper TONITE in colorado?



and that chris thile is playing with the tensions mountain boys in nashville for THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS in september?


and that 14 out of their remaing 30 shows on this tour
are within the 6 hour driving radius i set for myself when deciding if i'm going to follow them around the U.S.? you knew that i couldn't handle that, didn't you?

now i have 2 reasons to fly to america. one--to hug you all for giving me money to send carlen, simone, clinton, and dylan to camp for the weekend, and two--two spend alot of time, money, and energy stalking this band!!!! anybody with an extra $2,000 to spare????

Sunday, 26 August 2007

what i learned today from poverty.

"there will always be problems. when one ends, the next one takes its place. that's why i don't worry. i just learn to live my life and be myself in the midst of them."

i can pay my counselor R400 to tell me this. i can remind myself, post it up all over my house. but when it comes from the believeing lips of a woman with 5 kids and 3 grandkids living in a shack, it just seems more believable.

Wednesday, 22 August 2007


asheville, north carolina. stacie conkin.

Friday, 17 August 2007

bono's guru.


if you are wanting to know who's in the anti-poverty limelight, let me introduce you to the picture of the man, jeffrey sach's, author of new york times best-selling book the end of poverty, which i am currently reading and totally recommend. i am NOT an economics person. my mind doesn't understand all that talk about human capital and stablization and fiscal whatever whatever. but after being sucked into this book which i cannot seem to put down, i am hooked on the subject. i am determined to educate myself on it until i can understand it, talk about it, and be up to date on this really important issue.


a recent article in the july edition of vanity fair
updates us on the whereabouts and whatabouts of this man, who is busy all over the world researching, testing, and sharing about his passion. he believes that IN OUR LIFETIME, the poverty of this world can be done away with. that countries unable to even get a foot on the lowest rung of the economic ladder can actually start working towards a stable economy, despite cultural, geographic, and geopolitical barriers. i am totally enthralled!

i know emma's going to love this, being the economic genius in my life who's always telling me "you just don't get this stuff do you?" well emma, watch out...i'm learning. and you out there should too.

so, go buy THIS BOOK
and read up on the Millenium Development Goals, written by Sachs.


let me know if you join me on this bandwagon!

Saturday, 11 August 2007

a most splendid book.



it's cool how my last blog was about korean missionaries in afghanistan, and this blog is about a book i recently finished (i spent all saturday morning in bed finishing it!) situated in kabul, afghanistan.

i just want to encourage you to read this book. don't let it's heavy setting, historical content, and size intimidate you. i read S L O W, and i finished it in a few days!!! now I want to go to afghanistan...which makes me a bit of a possible hypocrite in some of your eyes seeing that my last blog was indecisive in my personal thoughts on the koreans entering such a turbulent place.

i still need to think through the why of my desire to go now. i think it's just one of those things good books do to me, they make me want to know more about the world i've just inhabited for a few days.

go go go and read :)

Friday, 03 August 2007


the 21 remaining south koreans held hostage by the taliban are growing sick and weary. apparently, doctors are being sent in for two of the girls who are near-death. amnesty international had a phone call with taliban spokesperson qari yousef ahmadi, appealing for the release of the south koreans and warning the militant group that they are commiting a war crime.

my heart is really going out to this situation. i keep imagining these 21 people, scared and sick, angry, hungry, unsure of their fate. imagine going into a remote village of afghanistan with the hope of providing medical attention to the people, only to find yourself kidnapped, starving, dying.

this is a startling picture of modern-day persecution. our lives are not our own. we were bought at a price, and christ relives his sufferning and sacrifice in the willingness of these 21 people. maybe they didn't expect this sort of reality...but the went under the warning of such things happening.

this is my prayer, my cry out to god, and god's promise for these beautiful servants:

"blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for the in same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
they body of the first korean, shot 10 times in the head and chest, being taken out by taliban officials.



south korean protestors outside a mosque in afghanistan.



protestors holding candles at an anti war rally in south korea.


but, coming from a different perspective, i really wonder if these pretty faces in the first picture understood the fullness of such a venture. i mean, afghanistan? a mission trip? as my friend emma also pointed out, i've lived abroad and seen short term mission teams come and go. i do not argue the impact of such experiences on the missionaries, or the locals who live in a place being visited, but i do hope this situation urges christians to take an incredibly thorough, God-led approach to missions. i hope that this will challenge people to seek God in their decision to go anywhere from alaska to argentina to afghanistan, rather than ever going "for the fun of it" (don't get cross...i know this happens).

this bbc news articlereally speaks to what we are saying.

Sunday, 29 July 2007

cracking under pressure.

i got both of these photos in my email today. one is of my friend stephen in russia. the other is of my parents at 1:15 saturday morning. who of these seems to be cracking under the pressure??? cast your vote now :)