honest confessions and praises.

ok, so plans have changed just a tad. my NEW departure date is one month from today, feb. 13th! this is because John Thomas, the founder of Living Hope/the man who I will work under, is coming to Nashville on the 12th to visit my church! Which is really cool because we will hopefully get to sit down and make some plans and get all excited about my move to South Africa. I'm so excited to see him and for my friends and family to meet him. This is a gift from God to all of us, to make the leaving process less impersonal. It will be really great to see him and then leave the next day.
Today a woman, Wanda Stone, who works at Brentwood Methodist, brought me 5 books and one documentary on South Africa. She goes there each year to work in small villages as a nurse. She heard about my concert and my move through her daughter who works at It's A Grind. George, my boss, has let me hang up and hand out the super cool flyer and many people who come to get coffee have asked about it and offered to help me. I've been so thankful for such a kind hearted boss at work. That job has been quite possibly one of the neatest learning experiences of my recent life.
Through that job I've become good friends with Robin--who is HILARIOUS and fun. We are 2 movies into our Indiana Jones marathon, with Last Crusade coming up next week! Also, we share a heart for God's word and for growing in our understanding of God. It's been so encouraging. She's watched me walk through tough times lately, and been an irreplaceable part of the healing process.
Seth, whose mom has made a huge impact in my Christian life and growth, shares his love of film with me and I've become so much more interested in this and appreciative of it through watching Seth. He's so talented and good at his work, and he's a really good friend. Gentle and a good listener and just really willing to walk with you during hard times. And he's coming to South Africa in March to film LIving Hope, so that is really cool!
Chris, who has moved off to Colorado, has been an instrument of learning in my life. We share a love for adventure and doing random things like climbing dead trees. I'm flying out to Denver next weekend b/c one of my good friends bought me a plane ticket for free!! So, Kevin and I are spending 4 days exploring the west!!! I'm so excited about this, and I get to ice climb with Chris!
Kara, Josh, and all the great employees I've gotten to know...I could go on and on.

But this blog was about South Africa. I got off track.

So I got some cool books today,and people are really being generous. Today I pick up the check from BBC that will go towards my first few months in Africa, my flight over, and my immediate needs as I prepare. This is a huge blessing and I continue to really love how the support missions. I'm pretty sure we hit the million dollar budget last week for missions. That is amazing!!!

God is showing me lots about myself during this time, mostly things that gross me out. Like my sharp tongue, my defensiveness, my fear of someone breaking their word to me, and residual thought patterns from when I lived in the pit of sin. It's kinda hard to see these things, and I just am trying to pray that God would strip me of them before too long. Who knows how many of you have seen these things in me, and I'm thankful for your patience as I try to learn who Christ was in these areas and pray for his grace to help me as I try to change old habits. I really want to be able to listen well in Africa, to put aside my wants and needs for the sake of this cause I'm going to be fighting for, and to be willing to not have all the answers and to know that I cannot change anyone and to let people hurt me as they try to learn how to NOT hurt God through their actions.

Ok, that's alot. Apparently I'm a window today. I'm tempted to close the curtains and shut off the lights, but another thing i'm tired of doing is being arrogant. I'm really sinful and just need God to speak to me all the time. And he's doing that...I hear him almost audibly these days. And that's been awesome.

Love you guys.