Snowflake...I regret all the frustration and hurt you are having to experience for your boys. However, if you persevere, the trying of your faith will prove your most valuable possession. Strong characters are not forged in a lukewarm furnace. Please keep feeding yourself God's Word as your soul must have that Food. Keep talking to your Heavenly Father in prayer as He loves your prayers and you need to talk to Him.
I am glad that you had some friends there to console you and reassure you.
I suppose everyone is playing their role exactly as they should. Addicted people acting like addicted people. People that love perversion and deviation pursuing same. Servants of the Most High God serving their Master. I wonder if Jesus felt some of your emotions. Here he had come to save the world from the worst eternal suffering imaginable (and worse) and the people He came to save eventually decided to kill Him. That sounds like loneliness. I guess this indicates that it is the role of the deliverer to be misunderstood. Ouch!
oh how i love god for giving me such a wise earthly father. the above are his words in response to our phone call a few days ago. things are just like a constant battle here. a battle on behalf of those who cannot battle for themselves--the kind of people that god talks about in the old testament, the kind of people christ died for.
a week ago neil and russie and bala disappeared after some drama went down in muizenberg. i drove to capricorn every single day at least once, but usually more than once--and all i could find was that empty feeling in my stomach getting bigger and bigger. my sole prayers became that god would drive neil to call me and he did, 6 days later.
bottomline--they used drugs. and called me to get them back in muizenberg because in capricorn "they cannot escape the people who make them use."
yesterday i talked with brian, neil's best friend, and i asked if he was worried about neil. he got very quiet and said "of course i am. he's going to die."
Tuesday, 20 June 2006
Saturday, 17 June 2006
"if we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of moses died without mercy on the testimony of 2 or 3 witnesses. how much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the son of god underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the spirit of grace? for we know him who said, "it is mine to avenge; i will repay," and again, "the lord will judge his people." it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living god.
remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. you sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew taht you yourselves had better and lasting possesions.
so do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of god, you will receive what he has promised. for in just a very little while, "he who is coming will come and will nto delay. but my righteous one will live by faith. and if he shrinks back, i will not be pleased with him." but we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
hebrews 10. 26-39
i've got no idea where to start. i should try but i am too tired. too tired of trying. something conforted my last night. i sat in the checkers parking lot with melissa, ryan, and worm...plus the kids minus russie and neiltjie. i was stressing because of so many reasons, and i just looked at my adult friends and said, "that's it, i'm the crazy one. the only way i can continue to live in this world is if i believe i'm the crazy one, and everyone else is sane."
ryan started laughing and said he'd started telling himself that a long time ago. god, at least i'm learning something valuable.
but seriously, i have to believe i'm the abnormal one (i am in this world) and everyone else is "normal". then i can carry on with my life.
these verses in hebrews are what god showed me last night before i saw the kids at checkers. they are going to be my motivation to keep on in this time. please pray for neiltjie, russie, and bala--that god would free them from addiction and gang life. pray for keaton--that the pain in his little heart wouldn't lead him to hate my love for him. pray for randall, whose so paranoid and worked up about some misunderstandings that he could reach a place of genuine forgiveness. and pray for alfred and mano--that they'd either turn from their wickedness or quickly start spending a long part of their life behind bars.
and pray that i could finish mandela's autobiography in the near future!
remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. you sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew taht you yourselves had better and lasting possesions.
so do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of god, you will receive what he has promised. for in just a very little while, "he who is coming will come and will nto delay. but my righteous one will live by faith. and if he shrinks back, i will not be pleased with him." but we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
hebrews 10. 26-39
i've got no idea where to start. i should try but i am too tired. too tired of trying. something conforted my last night. i sat in the checkers parking lot with melissa, ryan, and worm...plus the kids minus russie and neiltjie. i was stressing because of so many reasons, and i just looked at my adult friends and said, "that's it, i'm the crazy one. the only way i can continue to live in this world is if i believe i'm the crazy one, and everyone else is sane."
ryan started laughing and said he'd started telling himself that a long time ago. god, at least i'm learning something valuable.
but seriously, i have to believe i'm the abnormal one (i am in this world) and everyone else is "normal". then i can carry on with my life.
these verses in hebrews are what god showed me last night before i saw the kids at checkers. they are going to be my motivation to keep on in this time. please pray for neiltjie, russie, and bala--that god would free them from addiction and gang life. pray for keaton--that the pain in his little heart wouldn't lead him to hate my love for him. pray for randall, whose so paranoid and worked up about some misunderstandings that he could reach a place of genuine forgiveness. and pray for alfred and mano--that they'd either turn from their wickedness or quickly start spending a long part of their life behind bars.
and pray that i could finish mandela's autobiography in the near future!
Tuesday, 13 June 2006
i'm back!!!!!!
THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO KARLA, DENNIS, AND SETH WORLEY. THANK YOU FOR THE CAMERA.
THIS IS ALSO DEDICATED TO MEREDITH MACGUIRK, AMY JENKINS, BETH HARRIS, MY MOM AND DAD, AND ANYONE WHO GAVE MONEY FOR ME TO BE USING THIS NEW COMPUTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
ENJOY----
ricky.
russie getting ready for a workout!
me and neiltjie.
me, brianie and neiltjie.
me and keaton.
walking the waterfront.
ricky, russie, neiltjie and i.
poem's sexy legs.
russie trying to swipe a kid's skateboard.
me and russie at church.
outside checker's.
me and russie in the park.
THIS IS ALSO DEDICATED TO MEREDITH MACGUIRK, AMY JENKINS, BETH HARRIS, MY MOM AND DAD, AND ANYONE WHO GAVE MONEY FOR ME TO BE USING THIS NEW COMPUTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
ENJOY----
ricky.
russie getting ready for a workout!
me and neiltjie.
me, brianie and neiltjie.
me and keaton.
walking the waterfront.
ricky, russie, neiltjie and i.
poem's sexy legs.
russie trying to swipe a kid's skateboard.
me and russie at church.
outside checker's.
me and russie in the park.
Monday, 12 June 2006
what all those psalms are really about.
Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
"He won't call me to account"?
But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
call him to account for his wickedness
that would not be found out.
The LORD is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
Psalm10.12-18
sometimes i think about all the parts of the bible i've never been able to relate my life to, words and complaints and pleas to god for justice, mercy, freedom from brutal oppression. apparently there are a significant amount of places in the world that need such words of encouragement, nations at war and fatherless children living in terror and affliction. i like that my world in africa finds comfort in these formerly "superfluous" chapters and verses.
psalm 10 is a marvelous example of a part of the bible i've never know what to do with. my life has never been in need of these words...until now.
here in muizenberg my life has picked up speed. in the past 3 weeks i've probably averaged 10 hours a day in the lives of the kids. yesterday i hit the peak with 18 hours, minus eating lunch with the team here from nashville. 18 hours is alot of time in their lives. more is revealed and shared with me as i sit, walk, and eat with them in their world.
drama abounds, to be quite honest. sure, we are a rather contained specimen of the global "street kid epidemic" but we are a holistic one for sure! name an issue, we'll have a story about it. just yesterday at church a congolese man gave melissa his phone number. he was cute, but not cute enough to override the fact that he had offered ricky 200 rand to get melissa to consent to having sex with he and his 2 brothers. this is one way they make money.
another way is through giving their own bodies to sexual immorality. in the past week we've confronted 2 muizenberg pedophiles preying on our kids. last night a vw golf full of men pulled up and offered the kids money for sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
mingo is a drug runner, so he is often found on the corner of the game shop, strolling up and down church street with his yellow fannie pack, half out of his own head from the drugs his older gangster roommates feed him as payment for his "work".
keyton can be found curled in a ball outside checkers asking for small change. that is unless we are taking him to capricorn where his drunk mother and stepfather forgot to leave him a key to get in the house 3 days in a row. we searched capricorn for her and when we found her keyton was so upset he didn't even care anymore about taking a shower. he just grabbed a handful of clothes, shoved him in my lap, grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the car where he sat in my lap and cried into his 10 year old arms. how many times has he gone through that, and how many of these kids the same--yet with no one to hold them and love on them afterwards. and i wonder why they steal from me and the rest of the world around them?
neiltjie's been off tik 8 days today. he got paid for breaking into houses, stealing pipes, and selling them this morning at the "scrapyard"--exactly what it sounds like it would be, a yard full of scraps. last night after a dramatic 2 mile walk where we yelled and cried and cursed at one another for some recent behavior on his end that was hurtful to me, he pulled me aside and cried for an hour straight about his stepfather and his drunk mother and his dead brother and his dying brother and his little sister who has no one to clean her diapers and his little brother, kadoya, who keeps showing up on the streets of muizenberg as well. he's never opened up to me like that. but neiltjie and i have a long road ahead of us, because he's invited me into the reparative work he longs for in his life. school, moving home, helping his mother avoid abuse--he says all this is what he wants now, that he's tired of this life on the streets.
bala asked the same. he wants to go home. he's been on a tik binge since i cannot remember when and just last night he opened up to me. he's lost so much weight and broken so many laws as aof late. he spent he last week stuck with some older gangsters in capricorn who told him he was a homosexual if he didn't smoke tik with them...7 days later he was still there, smoking tik, trying to remember why it was such a big deal to be called a homo after all.
these are just a few stories out of life here. clearly prayers are in high demand. i beg you to pray for them. neiltjie and russie told me yesterday that all they need to not do the drugs is for someone to ask them not to, to watch them and hold them accountable. i've been given permission to beat them all if they use--and i have my ways of finding out the truth on a daily, hourly basis!!!
again, here are their names:
damien, carl, ricky, neil, brian, andrew, bala, keaton, kadoya, russell, randall, doofy, brontino, and mingo.
You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
what all those psalms are really about.
Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
"He won't call me to account"?
But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
call him to account for his wickedness
that would not be found out.
The LORD is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
Psalm10.12-18
sometimes i think about all the parts of the bible i've never been able to relate my life to, words and complaints and pleas to god for justice, mercy, freedom from brutal oppression. apparently there are a significant amount of places in the world that need such words of encouragement, nations at war and fatherless children living in terror and affliction. i like that my world in africa finds comfort in these formerly "superfluous" chapters and verses.
psalm 10 is a marvelous example of a part of the bible i've never know what to do with. my life has never been in need of these words...until now.
here in muizenberg my life has picked up speed. in the past 3 weeks i've probably averaged 10 hours a day in the lives of the kids. yesterday i hit the peak with 18 hours, minus eating lunch with the team here from nashville. 18 hours is alot of time in their lives. more is revealed and shared with me as i sit, walk, and eat with them in their world.
drama abounds, to be quite honest. sure, we are a rather contained specimen of the global "street kid epidemic" but we are a holistic one for sure! name an issue, we'll have a story about it. just yesterday at church a congolese man gave melissa his phone number. he was cute, but not cute enough to override the fact that he had offered ricky 200 rand to get melissa to consent to having sex with he and his 2 brothers. this is one way they make money.
another way is through giving their own bodies to sexual immorality. in the past week we've confronted 2 muizenberg pedophiles preying on our kids. last night a vw golf full of men pulled up and offered the kids money for sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
mingo is a drug runner, so he is often found on the corner of the game shop, strolling up and down church street with his yellow fannie pack, half out of his own head from the drugs his older gangster roommates feed him as payment for his "work".
keyton can be found curled in a ball outside checkers asking for small change. that is unless we are taking him to capricorn where his drunk mother and stepfather forgot to leave him a key to get in the house 3 days in a row. we searched capricorn for her and when we found her keyton was so upset he didn't even care anymore about taking a shower. he just grabbed a handful of clothes, shoved him in my lap, grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the car where he sat in my lap and cried into his 10 year old arms. how many times has he gone through that, and how many of these kids the same--yet with no one to hold them and love on them afterwards. and i wonder why they steal from me and the rest of the world around them?
neiltjie's been off tik 8 days today. he got paid for breaking into houses, stealing pipes, and selling them this morning at the "scrapyard"--exactly what it sounds like it would be, a yard full of scraps. last night after a dramatic 2 mile walk where we yelled and cried and cursed at one another for some recent behavior on his end that was hurtful to me, he pulled me aside and cried for an hour straight about his stepfather and his drunk mother and his dead brother and his dying brother and his little sister who has no one to clean her diapers and his little brother, kadoya, who keeps showing up on the streets of muizenberg as well. he's never opened up to me like that. but neiltjie and i have a long road ahead of us, because he's invited me into the reparative work he longs for in his life. school, moving home, helping his mother avoid abuse--he says all this is what he wants now, that he's tired of this life on the streets.
bala asked the same. he wants to go home. he's been on a tik binge since i cannot remember when and just last night he opened up to me. he's lost so much weight and broken so many laws as aof late. he spent he last week stuck with some older gangsters in capricorn who told him he was a homosexual if he didn't smoke tik with them...7 days later he was still there, smoking tik, trying to remember why it was such a big deal to be called a homo after all.
these are just a few stories out of life here. clearly prayers are in high demand. i beg you to pray for them. neiltjie and russie told me yesterday that all they need to not do the drugs is for someone to ask them not to, to watch them and hold them accountable. i've been given permission to beat them all if they use--and i have my ways of finding out the truth on a daily, hourly basis!!!
again, here are their names:
damien, carl, ricky, neil, brian, andrew, bala, keaton, kadoya, russell, randall, doofy, brontino, and mingo.
You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
Friday, 09 June 2006
neiltjie.
this is neiltjie. i love this kid so much. god is using him to teach me some remarkable things about life and love. from working with kids around the world, i consistently see that unconditional love and intentional conversations about the pain in a child's life is like the hand of God coming down and opening the boarded-up doors of that child's wounded heart.
Neil: you see that shop there? russie and i broke in there once and got 1000 rand."
Russie: yah!! and that shop there also. we stole some rolls.
N: we used to steal ALL the time. everyday everyday. we break in and steal and run off.
R: so many shops, ashley. so many shops in muizenberg. we come in with our guns and we rob the people (russie is 11--and TOTALLY exaggerating!).
Ashley: really? when was this?
N: a long time ago. we used to do so many drugs also. before you came we are doing drugs all the time. everyday everyday.
R: smoking mandrax. tikking. every night we get our drugs, sometimes for free.
A: hmmm....
R: you gonna go to the church on sunday ashley? you gonna take me? if you don't take me i'm gonna go alone. i'm gonna be there anyways. there by the church.
A: yes russie, of course i'll take you.
N: you know, last sunday when you was at the church i wanted to be at the church. i'm gonna go this sunday also.
R: yah. i'm gonna give my life back to god. you know that ashley? i'm gonna give my life back to god. you think i shoudl do that?
A: yes, i think that's great, russ.
N: me too, ashley. when i was a kid, i was going to church every week every week. my auntie is a christian and russie's opa (grandfather) is also one. i used to stay by him. if i go to the church then i'll stop using hte drugs and stuff, you know?
Hey ashley, i want to meet all your family and i want you to meet all mine and i want to you to never leave us alone here in africa. i want our families to be good friends and to eat together. i don't want you to ever leave for america, ok?
A: that's not for a long time, neiltjie. and you can meet my family.
R: yah, me too. I want to meet mr. america. his daugther is my mother. you know ashley, my brother got shot before and he died. and soon my mommie's gonna die. when that happens, you gonna be my only family, you know that? you gonna be my mother?
A: yes, russie. i will always be your family.
N: You know ashley, before you came, we were doing drugs all the time. but now i just want to spend all my time with you and melissa. when i am with you and melissa i don't even think about the drugs. i think i will come to you everyday.
Carl: i've been to your house 4 times.
R: I've been there SO MANY TIMES. right, ashley?
A: yes russie.
N: I've only been twice but i want to come everyday. it's so nice, you know.it's so nice to come there because then we don't do bad things. i pray for you and melissa every night, you know ashley? I pray you never leave us in africa. that you stay a long time.
Neil: you see that shop there? russie and i broke in there once and got 1000 rand."
Russie: yah!! and that shop there also. we stole some rolls.
N: we used to steal ALL the time. everyday everyday. we break in and steal and run off.
R: so many shops, ashley. so many shops in muizenberg. we come in with our guns and we rob the people (russie is 11--and TOTALLY exaggerating!).
Ashley: really? when was this?
N: a long time ago. we used to do so many drugs also. before you came we are doing drugs all the time. everyday everyday.
R: smoking mandrax. tikking. every night we get our drugs, sometimes for free.
A: hmmm....
R: you gonna go to the church on sunday ashley? you gonna take me? if you don't take me i'm gonna go alone. i'm gonna be there anyways. there by the church.
A: yes russie, of course i'll take you.
N: you know, last sunday when you was at the church i wanted to be at the church. i'm gonna go this sunday also.
R: yah. i'm gonna give my life back to god. you know that ashley? i'm gonna give my life back to god. you think i shoudl do that?
A: yes, i think that's great, russ.
N: me too, ashley. when i was a kid, i was going to church every week every week. my auntie is a christian and russie's opa (grandfather) is also one. i used to stay by him. if i go to the church then i'll stop using hte drugs and stuff, you know?
Hey ashley, i want to meet all your family and i want you to meet all mine and i want to you to never leave us alone here in africa. i want our families to be good friends and to eat together. i don't want you to ever leave for america, ok?
A: that's not for a long time, neiltjie. and you can meet my family.
R: yah, me too. I want to meet mr. america. his daugther is my mother. you know ashley, my brother got shot before and he died. and soon my mommie's gonna die. when that happens, you gonna be my only family, you know that? you gonna be my mother?
A: yes, russie. i will always be your family.
N: You know ashley, before you came, we were doing drugs all the time. but now i just want to spend all my time with you and melissa. when i am with you and melissa i don't even think about the drugs. i think i will come to you everyday.
Carl: i've been to your house 4 times.
R: I've been there SO MANY TIMES. right, ashley?
A: yes russie.
N: I've only been twice but i want to come everyday. it's so nice, you know.it's so nice to come there because then we don't do bad things. i pray for you and melissa every night, you know ashley? I pray you never leave us in africa. that you stay a long time.
Tuesday, 30 May 2006
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
these are photos taken by my friend katharina. i have a camera, donated by the lovely dennis and karla worley, that i am getting soon. but these are some others, and i just knew you'd want to see them. it makes me so happy to put photos on here again!!!
andrew, keaton and kadoya lounging around.
andrew(poem).
poem and keaton, melissa and i at the park the other day.
me and kadoya.
sleeping late.
aren't they beautiful?
andrew, keaton and kadoya lounging around.
andrew(poem).
poem and keaton, melissa and i at the park the other day.
me and kadoya.
sleeping late.
aren't they beautiful?
Monday, 29 May 2006
if you think too much, will your brain explode?
i wish i was a compartmentalizer. one of those people who can think clearly and put things in tidy little stacks and then put them in the proper drawer.
but i'm an out loud kind of person. i don't know how to think to myself.
my poor roommate is getting the brunt of it, but the cool thing is she's starting to adopt my method--just vomiting your thoughts up in no cohesive order.
i feel like my brain is going to explode. please pray for
lincoln hall who didn't die on mount everest after all
earthquake victims in (yet again) indonesia
melissa who just left burma after 3 years
emma in nepal
who cannot stop crying
valerie my dying friend
noluvo my other dying friend
avril my supervisor
fergie the pedophile
street kids of cape town who are doing lots of drugs and being sexually abused
ricky whose court case got dropped and who moved back onto the streeets last week
poem whose been back at home since two weeks ago friday
russie who got arrested for stealing a bike and is hiding out in capricorn
mingo and keaton who call me at all hours of the day, whose mom is really angry with them
blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
but i'm an out loud kind of person. i don't know how to think to myself.
my poor roommate is getting the brunt of it, but the cool thing is she's starting to adopt my method--just vomiting your thoughts up in no cohesive order.
i feel like my brain is going to explode. please pray for
lincoln hall who didn't die on mount everest after all
earthquake victims in (yet again) indonesia
melissa who just left burma after 3 years
emma in nepal
who cannot stop crying
valerie my dying friend
noluvo my other dying friend
avril my supervisor
fergie the pedophile
street kids of cape town who are doing lots of drugs and being sexually abused
ricky whose court case got dropped and who moved back onto the streeets last week
poem whose been back at home since two weeks ago friday
russie who got arrested for stealing a bike and is hiding out in capricorn
mingo and keaton who call me at all hours of the day, whose mom is really angry with them
blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Saturday, 27 May 2006
"I'm relying on you, Gen. Than Shwe, to do the right thing,"
this is general than shwe.
According to world news, today is the day that Aung San Suu Kyi is supposed to be released from her 17+ years of house arrest after dropping by yangon to visit her sick mother, only to find she'd stay a few decades longer.
My friend Andy Ross sent me this link
. This woman is beautiful. It makes me want to move to Burma and wear lotus blossoms in my hair. Andy thinks this is the reason I'm dreaming about Burma. Robin says it's because Burma is such a part of me. Either way, this article only annoys me.
Bottom line: this woman will not be released. This article is filled with political jargon and nonsense that only leads the outside world to hopeless tolerance of injustice and oppression. I'm sick of it here, i'm sick of it there. Curse words come to mind. I'm just being honest.
Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar doesn't think the military junta should fear Suu Kyi's release, saying "The government is very strong and very stable," he told reporters. "They are able to maintain security. Why should they be worried? I don't think Aung San Suu Kyi should be a cause for worry to them."
Of course they are "strong and stable" (burmese define those words differently than webster's). They are violently corrupt and immoral. They rule with an iron fist, behind a "Made in Facist Burma" curtain separating them from the outside world.
Go here
for more info on the secret country and it's secret secrets.
this is aung san suu kyi. isn't she beautiful? damien rice & bono write songs about her. you need to remember this face.
According to world news, today is the day that Aung San Suu Kyi is supposed to be released from her 17+ years of house arrest after dropping by yangon to visit her sick mother, only to find she'd stay a few decades longer.
My friend Andy Ross sent me this link
. This woman is beautiful. It makes me want to move to Burma and wear lotus blossoms in my hair. Andy thinks this is the reason I'm dreaming about Burma. Robin says it's because Burma is such a part of me. Either way, this article only annoys me.
Bottom line: this woman will not be released. This article is filled with political jargon and nonsense that only leads the outside world to hopeless tolerance of injustice and oppression. I'm sick of it here, i'm sick of it there. Curse words come to mind. I'm just being honest.
Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar doesn't think the military junta should fear Suu Kyi's release, saying "The government is very strong and very stable," he told reporters. "They are able to maintain security. Why should they be worried? I don't think Aung San Suu Kyi should be a cause for worry to them."
Of course they are "strong and stable" (burmese define those words differently than webster's). They are violently corrupt and immoral. They rule with an iron fist, behind a "Made in Facist Burma" curtain separating them from the outside world.
Go here
for more info on the secret country and it's secret secrets.
this is aung san suu kyi. isn't she beautiful? damien rice & bono write songs about her. you need to remember this face.
Monday, 22 May 2006
AL.
life is really weird these days. i mean, REALLY weird.
i go through these seasons of having really intense dreams. i'll not remember my dreams for months on end, then suddenly find myself dreaming so vividly and realistically that i start confusing dreams with reality.
example:
over the course of the last 3 weeks, i've probably dreamed about burma 15 times. sometimes my world here mixes with my world there, so that i see russie and bala on the streets of yangon, or the monks are hiking table mountain. sometimes i see myself driving to capricorn but end up at kaba aye paya sitting on the floor before a big golden buddha, eating bananas.
most recently i was pseudoremembering my little street boys on bo aung kyaw street, the ones who called me ice cream. i was reliving that late night riding home in the taxi where i saw one begging on the side of traders hotel, and i freaked out and jumped out of am moving vehicle and sprinted back to the corner, embraced the kid, and walked back to my house with him. remember him--i thought the army had taken him after that night he threw stones at the blind man with the weight machine in front of the hindu temple? wow...that was a loaded sentence.
anyways, i've been heartbroken over burma as of late. most of you know, i would be there if not for an unforeseen series of events that i still cannot explain or doubt. god simply rerouted me and i'm in africa, completely at peace, completely feeling led to stay a long time, completely unsure what that means for all my dreams of burmese monks and orphans and street kids. south africa is in a much more accessible place when it comes to fighting injustice and poverty. burma's not ready for people like me. we'd end up killed or excommunicated from the country.
so, today i was checking my email and suddenly a little window popped up, some unnamed person wanting to chat with me. i'd seen this before and ignored it because i didn't know who it was, but this time there was a message that said "i knew an ashley in burma once. but she bugged out and moved to africa."
20 minutes later, i've spilled the contents of my burmabreaking heart to this "stranger", asking "who are you" but getting no direct answer. finally i asked "what country do you live in?" and they said "if you could live in any asian country in the world, which one would it be?"
I immediately responded.
He immediately said he lived there, in burma.
and then he said something that freaked me out, something so true to the personality and attitude and communication style of an old friend in burma who was hurt by "my" decision not to come back to asia.
i started crying uncontrollably. i couldn't even see the computer screen.
god has a beautiful way of bringing truth and love back to the surface in his time. thank you god for this. thank you SC for your understanding and your friendship. thank you for healing such a huge chunk of my heart today.
i wonder if i'll be dreaming about burma tonight? something tells me the wrestling in my heart has been eased today.
this marks the 4th pending conversation that has finally surfaced in my life in the past 3 days. god has a way of bringing truth out in his time. thanks to you people who have talked with me about important matters, for your words surely eased a part of the aching in my heart.
"i will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." (ps. 4.8)
i go through these seasons of having really intense dreams. i'll not remember my dreams for months on end, then suddenly find myself dreaming so vividly and realistically that i start confusing dreams with reality.
example:
over the course of the last 3 weeks, i've probably dreamed about burma 15 times. sometimes my world here mixes with my world there, so that i see russie and bala on the streets of yangon, or the monks are hiking table mountain. sometimes i see myself driving to capricorn but end up at kaba aye paya sitting on the floor before a big golden buddha, eating bananas.
most recently i was pseudoremembering my little street boys on bo aung kyaw street, the ones who called me ice cream. i was reliving that late night riding home in the taxi where i saw one begging on the side of traders hotel, and i freaked out and jumped out of am moving vehicle and sprinted back to the corner, embraced the kid, and walked back to my house with him. remember him--i thought the army had taken him after that night he threw stones at the blind man with the weight machine in front of the hindu temple? wow...that was a loaded sentence.
anyways, i've been heartbroken over burma as of late. most of you know, i would be there if not for an unforeseen series of events that i still cannot explain or doubt. god simply rerouted me and i'm in africa, completely at peace, completely feeling led to stay a long time, completely unsure what that means for all my dreams of burmese monks and orphans and street kids. south africa is in a much more accessible place when it comes to fighting injustice and poverty. burma's not ready for people like me. we'd end up killed or excommunicated from the country.
so, today i was checking my email and suddenly a little window popped up, some unnamed person wanting to chat with me. i'd seen this before and ignored it because i didn't know who it was, but this time there was a message that said "i knew an ashley in burma once. but she bugged out and moved to africa."
20 minutes later, i've spilled the contents of my burmabreaking heart to this "stranger", asking "who are you" but getting no direct answer. finally i asked "what country do you live in?" and they said "if you could live in any asian country in the world, which one would it be?"
I immediately responded.
He immediately said he lived there, in burma.
and then he said something that freaked me out, something so true to the personality and attitude and communication style of an old friend in burma who was hurt by "my" decision not to come back to asia.
i started crying uncontrollably. i couldn't even see the computer screen.
god has a beautiful way of bringing truth and love back to the surface in his time. thank you god for this. thank you SC for your understanding and your friendship. thank you for healing such a huge chunk of my heart today.
i wonder if i'll be dreaming about burma tonight? something tells me the wrestling in my heart has been eased today.
this marks the 4th pending conversation that has finally surfaced in my life in the past 3 days. god has a way of bringing truth out in his time. thanks to you people who have talked with me about important matters, for your words surely eased a part of the aching in my heart.
"i will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." (ps. 4.8)
Friday, 19 May 2006
Wednesday, 17 May 2006
i keep falling in love with this man.
"trust in the lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
commit your way to the lord; trust in him and he will do this:
he will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
be still before the lord and wait patiently for him..." -psalm 37:3-7a
yesterday god and i had breakfast, which turned into lunch. i sat on the wooden floor of my empty living room, blanket underneath me and coffee beside me. i read through some journal entries of the past 8 months. i saw such strong themes developing in my life. i saw hundreds of little prayers god has answered. i was reminded of his faithfulness. i experienced the freedom found in communion with jesus.
i keep falling in love with this man.
it's the only love i know that doesn't present reasons to fear. last night i learned that when you are afraid to say "no" to someone, you are not free to love them. the cool thing with jesus is that i don't feel led to say no to him if i'm communing with him, because he starts making my desires and dreams parallel to his own. so i'm not being asked to do something i'm tempted to say "no" to.
this man, jesus, is so captivating. i remember when i bought a laminated drawing of jesus on the street in burma. i'm pretty sure no one knew who it was supposed to be a drawing of, because burma and jesus aren't on good terms most days. but i bought it because my spirit was so dry and when i saw this man's face on the dirty burmese street, i had to have more of it. i hung it up so that when i lay in my bed, i would be staring at him on the opposite wall.
i'm not kidding--i would audibly talk to jesus for hours. he just sat there, looking at me with this half-smile. sometimes, i'd be weeping on my bed, crying out to him for the monks or the city or my own sinful state.
patty griffin says, in her song "making pies", jesus stares at me in my chair with his big blue eyes and his honey brown hair and he's looking at me from way up there on the wall." that's exactly what it was like.
maybe i just did too many drugs in college, but i'm pretty sure jesus started talking back at some point. because i started hearing him say things, and i'd write them down. pages and pages of jesus words.
so yesterday, at my breakfast with jesus, i was reading these words and just standing, or sitting rather, in awe of this man. this man who keeps his promises. this man who loves me so unconditionally. this man who pursued me and wooed me and who doesn't let my heart wander too far off without coming to fetch it again. it's like that hymn "come thou fount of every blessing" that says prone to wander, lord i feel it. prone to leave the god i love. here's my heart, lord, take and seal it. seal it for thy courts above.
all i'm trying to say in this most random of blogs is that jesus is so worth your time and your heart and your devotion and your sacrifice and your TRUST (a big one for me) and all the other things you don't want to give him. he's so true to his word. he's so in charge, and his ways are so much better than yours or mine. but it's that choice we have to make to relax in his arms, trusting he's going to do what's best, not only for us, but ultimately for his kingdom. that heavenly perspective we loose hold of all the time.
a few days ago, poom and i were in the park playing soccer. we had just had a screaming match with one another over something random. yes, i had a screaming match with a 12 year old street boy. that's beside the point.
the point IS that we were standing there, and it was the perfect moment to play that TRUST game you always had to do at girl scout camp. the one where you fall back into the persons arms and not freak out, flailing your arms about, turning your head to see if the person was still going to catch you.
and i explained the rules to poom. and the kid did it without hesitating. without looking back. without bending his knees and ensuring he'd catch himself if i failed to. he just threw himself backwards without question. i told him i'd catch him and he took me at my word. he didn't think about how bad it would hurt if he hit the ground. he didn't consider the possibility that i'd back out on my promise.
that's what i'm trying to say. god will catch us. why do we spend so much time doubting that?
there's great freedom in loving jesus. i like that we call it "falling in love" because, like the trust game, we let go of our practical, reasonable, plans of action and blah blah blah. we just fall.
delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
commit your way to the lord; trust in him and he will do this:
he will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
be still before the lord and wait patiently for him..." -psalm 37:3-7a
yesterday god and i had breakfast, which turned into lunch. i sat on the wooden floor of my empty living room, blanket underneath me and coffee beside me. i read through some journal entries of the past 8 months. i saw such strong themes developing in my life. i saw hundreds of little prayers god has answered. i was reminded of his faithfulness. i experienced the freedom found in communion with jesus.
i keep falling in love with this man.
it's the only love i know that doesn't present reasons to fear. last night i learned that when you are afraid to say "no" to someone, you are not free to love them. the cool thing with jesus is that i don't feel led to say no to him if i'm communing with him, because he starts making my desires and dreams parallel to his own. so i'm not being asked to do something i'm tempted to say "no" to.
this man, jesus, is so captivating. i remember when i bought a laminated drawing of jesus on the street in burma. i'm pretty sure no one knew who it was supposed to be a drawing of, because burma and jesus aren't on good terms most days. but i bought it because my spirit was so dry and when i saw this man's face on the dirty burmese street, i had to have more of it. i hung it up so that when i lay in my bed, i would be staring at him on the opposite wall.
i'm not kidding--i would audibly talk to jesus for hours. he just sat there, looking at me with this half-smile. sometimes, i'd be weeping on my bed, crying out to him for the monks or the city or my own sinful state.
patty griffin says, in her song "making pies", jesus stares at me in my chair with his big blue eyes and his honey brown hair and he's looking at me from way up there on the wall." that's exactly what it was like.
maybe i just did too many drugs in college, but i'm pretty sure jesus started talking back at some point. because i started hearing him say things, and i'd write them down. pages and pages of jesus words.
so yesterday, at my breakfast with jesus, i was reading these words and just standing, or sitting rather, in awe of this man. this man who keeps his promises. this man who loves me so unconditionally. this man who pursued me and wooed me and who doesn't let my heart wander too far off without coming to fetch it again. it's like that hymn "come thou fount of every blessing" that says prone to wander, lord i feel it. prone to leave the god i love. here's my heart, lord, take and seal it. seal it for thy courts above.
all i'm trying to say in this most random of blogs is that jesus is so worth your time and your heart and your devotion and your sacrifice and your TRUST (a big one for me) and all the other things you don't want to give him. he's so true to his word. he's so in charge, and his ways are so much better than yours or mine. but it's that choice we have to make to relax in his arms, trusting he's going to do what's best, not only for us, but ultimately for his kingdom. that heavenly perspective we loose hold of all the time.
a few days ago, poom and i were in the park playing soccer. we had just had a screaming match with one another over something random. yes, i had a screaming match with a 12 year old street boy. that's beside the point.
the point IS that we were standing there, and it was the perfect moment to play that TRUST game you always had to do at girl scout camp. the one where you fall back into the persons arms and not freak out, flailing your arms about, turning your head to see if the person was still going to catch you.
and i explained the rules to poom. and the kid did it without hesitating. without looking back. without bending his knees and ensuring he'd catch himself if i failed to. he just threw himself backwards without question. i told him i'd catch him and he took me at my word. he didn't think about how bad it would hurt if he hit the ground. he didn't consider the possibility that i'd back out on my promise.
that's what i'm trying to say. god will catch us. why do we spend so much time doubting that?
there's great freedom in loving jesus. i like that we call it "falling in love" because, like the trust game, we let go of our practical, reasonable, plans of action and blah blah blah. we just fall.
Friday, 12 May 2006
South Africa has the world's highest rate of rape. Full stop.
if there's one thing africa develops in me on a daily basis, it's a violent reaction to sexual predators. maybe because i'm meeting more and more young boys who have or currently are being preyed upon by nasty old perverted men.
this morning i joined the first african protest i've had the chance to be involved in. this past week a 62 year old british anglican priest was arrested for "raping" (more on that word later) 2 brothers from zimbabwe, street children who recently moved to cape town because their parents died in a bus accident. the oldest boy is 16 and his brother is 10. both boys have been treated nicely by this priest for a while now, and only recently has it come out that this man is raping these boys. it became public knowledge when the man, this past tuesday, was arrested after the 16 year old went to the police. he had found footage of this man raping his little brother.
today we drove into town and joined the street people, transvestites, gangsters, lawyers, ngo managers, and any other random person who felt connected to this situation. we held signs saying "cut it off" and "street children are not souveniers". me, melissa, ryan and worm got front row views of this man as he wore a towel over his head into the courtroom. we were blocked off by the glass doors that a police officer had shoved a bench in front of so we couldn't get through.
as the man's case was heard, i sat on the stoop of a complex outside while my friends and fellow protestors waited at the back door for the man to be escorted out. i thought about the following:
1--south african legistlation does not include a law against male-on-male rape. rape, according to south african law, is a male raping female. there is no law against oral sex or sodomy, which means that these pedohiles cannot be charged for raping young boys in south africa--because there is no LAW against it, or even saying that it exists as a possibility. so, regardless of our protests, this man will get off.
2--street children are especially susceptible to sexual abuse and exploitation because they are enslaved to drug addiction or to anyone who will give them money. they are dependent on society's handouts, even when attaining those handouts means doing things that might be wrong.
3--the majority of africans are not white. and the majority of africans live in one room shacks where, from birth, they are witnessing the sexual activity of their parents. it's a common occurence, and so this fuzzies up the line when it comes time for that child to be sexually involved. sex is normal, even sex with many different people, and so how does an already vulnerable and abandoned child suddenly know that he doesn't have to consent to sex with a man, an authority figure, or anyone else for that matter.
4--england has sex tourism laws, south africa does not. this means that this man can be charged in england for the sexual crimes he committed in cape town. this is a good thing, because........
at about 2 pm this afternoon, anthony hogg, the anglican priest i saw today was handed his passport by a south african judge and told he's free to go home. just like that.
this should come as no shock, since 4 days ago, jacob zuma was found not guilty of raping an HIV positive woman half his age.
but the reporters said it well, and i quote:
"If anything good has come from this sordid and sorry saga it is that it has sensitised the government and the public to the urgent need for reform of the law and legal process relating to rape cases."
if legistlative reform moves at the same pace as anything else in africa, then the words of such reporters reflect the ideal, not the reality.
this morning i joined the first african protest i've had the chance to be involved in. this past week a 62 year old british anglican priest was arrested for "raping" (more on that word later) 2 brothers from zimbabwe, street children who recently moved to cape town because their parents died in a bus accident. the oldest boy is 16 and his brother is 10. both boys have been treated nicely by this priest for a while now, and only recently has it come out that this man is raping these boys. it became public knowledge when the man, this past tuesday, was arrested after the 16 year old went to the police. he had found footage of this man raping his little brother.
today we drove into town and joined the street people, transvestites, gangsters, lawyers, ngo managers, and any other random person who felt connected to this situation. we held signs saying "cut it off" and "street children are not souveniers". me, melissa, ryan and worm got front row views of this man as he wore a towel over his head into the courtroom. we were blocked off by the glass doors that a police officer had shoved a bench in front of so we couldn't get through.
as the man's case was heard, i sat on the stoop of a complex outside while my friends and fellow protestors waited at the back door for the man to be escorted out. i thought about the following:
1--south african legistlation does not include a law against male-on-male rape. rape, according to south african law, is a male raping female. there is no law against oral sex or sodomy, which means that these pedohiles cannot be charged for raping young boys in south africa--because there is no LAW against it, or even saying that it exists as a possibility. so, regardless of our protests, this man will get off.
2--street children are especially susceptible to sexual abuse and exploitation because they are enslaved to drug addiction or to anyone who will give them money. they are dependent on society's handouts, even when attaining those handouts means doing things that might be wrong.
3--the majority of africans are not white. and the majority of africans live in one room shacks where, from birth, they are witnessing the sexual activity of their parents. it's a common occurence, and so this fuzzies up the line when it comes time for that child to be sexually involved. sex is normal, even sex with many different people, and so how does an already vulnerable and abandoned child suddenly know that he doesn't have to consent to sex with a man, an authority figure, or anyone else for that matter.
4--england has sex tourism laws, south africa does not. this means that this man can be charged in england for the sexual crimes he committed in cape town. this is a good thing, because........
at about 2 pm this afternoon, anthony hogg, the anglican priest i saw today was handed his passport by a south african judge and told he's free to go home. just like that.
this should come as no shock, since 4 days ago, jacob zuma was found not guilty of raping an HIV positive woman half his age.
but the reporters said it well, and i quote:
"If anything good has come from this sordid and sorry saga it is that it has sensitised the government and the public to the urgent need for reform of the law and legal process relating to rape cases."
if legistlative reform moves at the same pace as anything else in africa, then the words of such reporters reflect the ideal, not the reality.
Thursday, 11 May 2006
"Your dad is AMAZING Ashley lovell, don’t forget that."
jennifer said this about my dad in an email to me today. how appropriate it is to read such words on his 58th birthday. so appropriate that i thought i'd let you all know how great he is as well.
many years ago, my dad scribbled out a list of his top 10 favorite things about me, and taped it to the mirror of the bathroom one morning. i'd like to use this blog as my mirror to my father, so that we can all read the list i'm taping up for him today.
1-completely in love with God's word, so much so that he forsakes sleep, waking up and setting out to be with God for the first 90 minutes of everyday. he's literally done this as long as i can remember.
2-forgiveness. he practices it. he taught me the importance of it, of dealing with the emotions you feel but forgiving the person whose behavior inflicted them upon you.
3-health. he's a healthy man, almost disgustingly so. he's athletic and fit and motivated to stay that way.
4-the infamous disease. he talks to EVERYONE. it was so annoying as a kid, but apparently it's hereditary. he loves connecting with people.
5-boldness. he says exactly what he thinks, and it's always biblically based, due to #1. he's not afraid of people rejecting him for his words of truth.
6-humor. oh my gosh. i laugh more with this man than any other person i know. he's like a kid sometimes.
7-new-found sense of adventure. after his escapades in northeast burma, peeing in jungles (he's never admit to that), riding in rickety ski boats through asian rivers, and playing baseball with buddhist monks, he's seen that there's alot more to life than numbers and desk jobs.
8-goals. he sets them and taught me to do the same. he showed me that goals create a sense of acheivement, which fosters a healthy self-image.
9-prayerfulness. this man prays for you if you even slightly suggest needing it. even if you have a certain look on your face, he'll approach you at church, at the Y, outside in a heavy rain. prayer is more important than anything else to him.
10-he's one of my best friends. because of all these other things. and because he's just starting life, really.
happy birthday dad. i love you and miss you and will see you soon.
many years ago, my dad scribbled out a list of his top 10 favorite things about me, and taped it to the mirror of the bathroom one morning. i'd like to use this blog as my mirror to my father, so that we can all read the list i'm taping up for him today.
1-completely in love with God's word, so much so that he forsakes sleep, waking up and setting out to be with God for the first 90 minutes of everyday. he's literally done this as long as i can remember.
2-forgiveness. he practices it. he taught me the importance of it, of dealing with the emotions you feel but forgiving the person whose behavior inflicted them upon you.
3-health. he's a healthy man, almost disgustingly so. he's athletic and fit and motivated to stay that way.
4-the infamous disease. he talks to EVERYONE. it was so annoying as a kid, but apparently it's hereditary. he loves connecting with people.
5-boldness. he says exactly what he thinks, and it's always biblically based, due to #1. he's not afraid of people rejecting him for his words of truth.
6-humor. oh my gosh. i laugh more with this man than any other person i know. he's like a kid sometimes.
7-new-found sense of adventure. after his escapades in northeast burma, peeing in jungles (he's never admit to that), riding in rickety ski boats through asian rivers, and playing baseball with buddhist monks, he's seen that there's alot more to life than numbers and desk jobs.
8-goals. he sets them and taught me to do the same. he showed me that goals create a sense of acheivement, which fosters a healthy self-image.
9-prayerfulness. this man prays for you if you even slightly suggest needing it. even if you have a certain look on your face, he'll approach you at church, at the Y, outside in a heavy rain. prayer is more important than anything else to him.
10-he's one of my best friends. because of all these other things. and because he's just starting life, really.
happy birthday dad. i love you and miss you and will see you soon.
Friday, 05 May 2006
life before africa looked like this.
getting up at 5:12 a.m. unconsciously operating a motor vehicle in the dark. somehow ending up at work grinding coffee. waiting for mr. williamson county rec center man to order his coffee, and mr. i-sit-in-the-corner-chair to say awkward things that we didn't ever know how to respond to. waiting for josh to show up. throwing things at chris. watching the sun rise out the drive through window.
at about 7:59, creative genuis started flowing. below is an recent example.
i have the funniest friends on the planet. special acknowledgement of seth, the killtron creator
or robin, killtron herself
. is killtron a girl? not sure.
i miss you guys. thanks for making me laugh. always.
at about 7:59, creative genuis started flowing. below is an recent example.
i have the funniest friends on the planet. special acknowledgement of seth, the killtron creator
or robin, killtron herself
. is killtron a girl? not sure.
i miss you guys. thanks for making me laugh. always.
Thursday, 04 May 2006
apartheid hangover--may 3, 2006.
that's what i like to call the following observation from my 3rd apartment hunt since moving to Africa. that's right, i'm moving AGAIN. here is your first installment of apartheid hangover:
There are 4 real estate offices in Muizenberg that I know of. 3 on Main Road, 1 in the circle by the beach.
OFFICE #1: bleach-blonde, cracked out, 70 year old retired surfer dude--
"are those boys with you?" he points at nieltjie standing in the doorway, and russie chasing a flock of seagulls in the parking lot.
OFFICE #2: sterile office, elderly woman with drawn-on face, young man with fresh cup of coffee & too many faulty stereotypes--
"your friends CANNOT come in. watch out for them. they are dangerous."
OFFICE #3: lady who won't even open the barred door.
Dirty scowl, as Russie uses my arms and torse as a human jungle gym. "no, we have nothing available."
OFFICE #4: elderly couple.
"are you walking with these boys?" nieltjie whispers, "ashley stay outside with us." old lady grabs my wrist and pulls forcefully, thinking the dirty black kid is going for my neck. russie screams "go in. it's fine."
"ma'am. i'm just goint to sit outisde with my friends while oyu talk to her (melissa)." i try to walk away.
"no, you will come in." yanks my arm again. "these boys are naughty. you don't know how they are. they will steal everything from you."
i look down at russie holding melissa's purse, and nieltjie holding my cell phone. "I think we'll be fine", i say with a forced smile.
I sit on the curb. russie grabs a brick and teases the lady through the window. ricky and nieltjie sit down next to me, russie climbs on my back like a monkey.
"they are just like all the other white people who hate us", ricky says.
the 3 kids look in my eyes, and i look back. we all remember the obvious.
There are 4 real estate offices in Muizenberg that I know of. 3 on Main Road, 1 in the circle by the beach.
OFFICE #1: bleach-blonde, cracked out, 70 year old retired surfer dude--
"are those boys with you?" he points at nieltjie standing in the doorway, and russie chasing a flock of seagulls in the parking lot.
OFFICE #2: sterile office, elderly woman with drawn-on face, young man with fresh cup of coffee & too many faulty stereotypes--
"your friends CANNOT come in. watch out for them. they are dangerous."
OFFICE #3: lady who won't even open the barred door.
Dirty scowl, as Russie uses my arms and torse as a human jungle gym. "no, we have nothing available."
OFFICE #4: elderly couple.
"are you walking with these boys?" nieltjie whispers, "ashley stay outside with us." old lady grabs my wrist and pulls forcefully, thinking the dirty black kid is going for my neck. russie screams "go in. it's fine."
"ma'am. i'm just goint to sit outisde with my friends while oyu talk to her (melissa)." i try to walk away.
"no, you will come in." yanks my arm again. "these boys are naughty. you don't know how they are. they will steal everything from you."
i look down at russie holding melissa's purse, and nieltjie holding my cell phone. "I think we'll be fine", i say with a forced smile.
I sit on the curb. russie grabs a brick and teases the lady through the window. ricky and nieltjie sit down next to me, russie climbs on my back like a monkey.
"they are just like all the other white people who hate us", ricky says.
the 3 kids look in my eyes, and i look back. we all remember the obvious.
Saturday, 29 April 2006
boyes drive.
noticing his demeanor drag through the shadows cast by thin-trunked trees reaching up towards the sun's rays, i watched our conversation approaching.
as the trickling of boy-boy-boy dripped like drops of water out of the faucet of living hope, he pooled himself on the sidewalk outside, voluntarily stagnating.
like a car picking up speed, so did his honesty come swiftly.
stealing water geysers, melting stolen bank cards to retreive the pin number, hiding guns at congolese gangsters' houses, sleeping in bungalows with the boys in order to get free drugs, cutting car alarm wires and stealing automoblies of beach-visiting locals, selling himself to foreign pedophiles for a day's working wage--words flooded out of his mouth like a great river of guilt and masked fear.
"we cannot live this way anymore, ashley. our life cannot go on like this on the streets."
as the trickling of boy-boy-boy dripped like drops of water out of the faucet of living hope, he pooled himself on the sidewalk outside, voluntarily stagnating.
like a car picking up speed, so did his honesty come swiftly.
stealing water geysers, melting stolen bank cards to retreive the pin number, hiding guns at congolese gangsters' houses, sleeping in bungalows with the boys in order to get free drugs, cutting car alarm wires and stealing automoblies of beach-visiting locals, selling himself to foreign pedophiles for a day's working wage--words flooded out of his mouth like a great river of guilt and masked fear.
"we cannot live this way anymore, ashley. our life cannot go on like this on the streets."
Thursday, 27 April 2006
screwy.
this blog is acting that way.
if you go down to the bottom of the page, you'll see all those links that used to be along the right side of the screen. i'm so tired of trying to fix this, so if any of you can help me i'd like that.
meanwhile, my friend ranghild from norway sent me some photos from her time here a few weeks ago. she helped us a few days and fell in love with little brianie. go down to the flickr photos and see some updates!
if you go down to the bottom of the page, you'll see all those links that used to be along the right side of the screen. i'm so tired of trying to fix this, so if any of you can help me i'd like that.
meanwhile, my friend ranghild from norway sent me some photos from her time here a few weeks ago. she helped us a few days and fell in love with little brianie. go down to the flickr photos and see some updates!
Wednesday, 26 April 2006
if you are my friend.
then you will do the following:
1--introduce yourself to ryan.
2--visit one of his many websites,this one
being on myspace.
3--visit this other website
, which is a documentary about some kids in cape town, and about ryan's work with them. you can watch a clip of the movie, and see some photos of the cast and such.
4--give all your money to what this guy is doing. i'm telling you, it's pretty amazing.
thanks!
and kara--you can hear that song on the myspace link. and you have full permission to enjoy it :)
1--introduce yourself to ryan.
2--visit one of his many websites,this one
being on myspace.
3--visit this other website
, which is a documentary about some kids in cape town, and about ryan's work with them. you can watch a clip of the movie, and see some photos of the cast and such.
4--give all your money to what this guy is doing. i'm telling you, it's pretty amazing.
thanks!
and kara--you can hear that song on the myspace link. and you have full permission to enjoy it :)
Wednesday, 19 April 2006
khayelitsha
so, i'm trying to post a photo or two but it's not working. which is really too bad because i have some amazing pictures to show you. i'll try to work this out somehow. keep your eyes on the flickr photos along the right side of my blog, just in case i figure it out that way.
this blog is dedicated to khayelitsha. that's a township in south africa. the fastest growing one, actually. i googled "khayelitsha" and a bunch of sites and photos came up. it's basically miles upon miles of shanties. over 1 million people now live in khayelitsha (pronounced ky-uh-lee-cha). they speak xhosa, like masiphumelele. xhosa is a language with clicks and such, sounds you make with your tongue smacking against the inside of your cheek or the roof of your mouth, depending on the letter you want to pronounce. i know that "molo" is hello and "wu jah nee" or something like that is "how are you?" beyond that, i'm confused.
i've wanted to go to khayelitsha for a while now. i started hearing about it long before i even thought of moving to south africa. it's well known b/c it's so big and so in need. most of the street kids living in downtown cape town came from khayelitsha.
my friend ryan, who has lived in SA for 6 years now, is greatly involved in this township. he worked on the streets of cape town for 3 years, learned afrikaans fluently, got kids back in their homes, back in school. he's testififed for kids, signed as their legal guardian, housed them when times were really bad, and you cannot go to ryan's house even today without seeing a kid there hanging out, watching tv, climbing on ryan or his roommate "worm" (a native SAfrican), or getting talked to by ryan about some problem or other. because he speaks afrikaans, he has met them where they are--spending up to 18 hours a day on the streets with them. he is truly one of them.
like all good organizations working with street children, ryan realized that prevention was more realistic as a long-term mission. sure, it'd be great to get the kids already on the street back home, but it'd be equally ideal to curb the trend by inserting oneself into the townships they are leaving, find out what the deal is, and try to repair broken families and homes before kids run away from them.
ryan helps run a nonprofit organization in khayelitsha called Town Two Sports Academy. kids learn basketball, boxing, soccer, etc. but they also get to know ryan, who is quick to address the root of the problem and speak to it.
ryan is learning xhosa. today as i walked the streets of khayelitsha with him, russie and ricky hanging on my arms, little xhosa children chasing us and giggling, i realized what an amazing difference it can make when you are willing to meet people where they are. learn THEIR language, spend hours in THEIR community. show yourself. ryan cannot drive through cape town or khayelitsha without people yelling out his name.
i wanna be like that. i wanna be willing to look foolish or whatever for the sake of the call. people like ryan really inspire me. i hope you have someone like that in your life, someone whose life challenges you to something more.
this blog is dedicated to khayelitsha. that's a township in south africa. the fastest growing one, actually. i googled "khayelitsha" and a bunch of sites and photos came up. it's basically miles upon miles of shanties. over 1 million people now live in khayelitsha (pronounced ky-uh-lee-cha). they speak xhosa, like masiphumelele. xhosa is a language with clicks and such, sounds you make with your tongue smacking against the inside of your cheek or the roof of your mouth, depending on the letter you want to pronounce. i know that "molo" is hello and "wu jah nee" or something like that is "how are you?" beyond that, i'm confused.
i've wanted to go to khayelitsha for a while now. i started hearing about it long before i even thought of moving to south africa. it's well known b/c it's so big and so in need. most of the street kids living in downtown cape town came from khayelitsha.
my friend ryan, who has lived in SA for 6 years now, is greatly involved in this township. he worked on the streets of cape town for 3 years, learned afrikaans fluently, got kids back in their homes, back in school. he's testififed for kids, signed as their legal guardian, housed them when times were really bad, and you cannot go to ryan's house even today without seeing a kid there hanging out, watching tv, climbing on ryan or his roommate "worm" (a native SAfrican), or getting talked to by ryan about some problem or other. because he speaks afrikaans, he has met them where they are--spending up to 18 hours a day on the streets with them. he is truly one of them.
like all good organizations working with street children, ryan realized that prevention was more realistic as a long-term mission. sure, it'd be great to get the kids already on the street back home, but it'd be equally ideal to curb the trend by inserting oneself into the townships they are leaving, find out what the deal is, and try to repair broken families and homes before kids run away from them.
ryan helps run a nonprofit organization in khayelitsha called Town Two Sports Academy. kids learn basketball, boxing, soccer, etc. but they also get to know ryan, who is quick to address the root of the problem and speak to it.
ryan is learning xhosa. today as i walked the streets of khayelitsha with him, russie and ricky hanging on my arms, little xhosa children chasing us and giggling, i realized what an amazing difference it can make when you are willing to meet people where they are. learn THEIR language, spend hours in THEIR community. show yourself. ryan cannot drive through cape town or khayelitsha without people yelling out his name.
i wanna be like that. i wanna be willing to look foolish or whatever for the sake of the call. people like ryan really inspire me. i hope you have someone like that in your life, someone whose life challenges you to something more.